Ematheanswer

Me: Why am I always broke? Amazon: Your horse's Thomas the Tank Engine costume has been delivered.

One night, a father is listening to his young daughter say her bedtime prayers. “God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma… and goodbye, Grandpa.” The father looks puzzled. “Why did you say goodbye to Grandpa?” “I don’t know,” she says. “It just felt right.” The next day, Grandpa dies. The father is shaken, but brushes it off as a coincidence. A month later, he’s listening again as she says her prayers. “God bless Mommy and Daddy… and goodbye, Grandma.” Sure enough, the next day Grandma passes away. Now he’s convinced something’s going on — but he keeps it to himself. Months go by. One night, he listens nervously as his daughter begins her prayers. “God bless Mommy…” She pauses, turns her head, looks straight at him, and says, “…and goodbye, Daddy.” The man’s heart starts pounding. He breaks out in a sweat and doesn’t sleep at all that night. The next day, he goes to work but locks himself in his office. He cancels all meetings, takes the phone off the hook, and waits for the inevitable. He stays late — just to be safe. Midnight comes. And he’s still alive. Relieved, but shaken to the core, he heads home. His wife is waiting at the door. “Where have you been all day?!” she snaps. “Don’t start,” he says. “I’ve had an absolutely miserable day.” She replies, “You had a miserable day? I’m the one who had a miserable day!” “First, the milkman dropped dead on the front steps…”

we used to raw dog excel sheets, no AI, no claude, just a vlookup and sumifs

Basketball has its own language. Each team’s terminology differs slightly, but a lot is universal and your understanding of the game increases when you can speak the game A-to-Z! Here’s the “terminology” section from one of our team playbooks. Foreign language to you, or basic??

go back my boy or the next thing you do will be installing Microsoft Teams

Respect Italy ✊

@janjiuja @3mil046 Possiamo discutere sul fatto che Marquez sia o meno il pilota migliore della storia (ci sono argomenti validi per lui, per Vale, per Agostini, ecc.). Dire che Marquez stende tutti per superare è oggettivamente sbagliato, come tante cose che vengono dette su di lui...

@Ematheanswer @3mil046 il miglior pilota della storia non stende tutti per superare....il miglior pilota della storia prende la moto peggiore e poi la fa vincere....il miglior pilota della storia capisci?....ma che cazzo vuoi capire Ayrton con la Lotus a Montecarlo sul bagnato non lo hai mai visto...

Il miglior pilota della storia via voi va sotto pressione e fa queste cazzate giocandosi il Mondiale con Marco Bezzecchi, Martin con un paio di ossa fuori posto e il cugino di Bagnaia

Cosa memate a fare?

"Ho detto vai via o ti pesto a sangue non ho detto vai via Mezzosangue" (James Potter)

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UNTOLD: JAIL BLAZERS premieres April 14. In the early 2000s, the Portland Trail Blazers were stacked with talent—and surrounded by controversy. Through firsthand stories from Rasheed Wallace, Damon Stoudamire, and Bonzi Wells, this is an unfiltered look at a team caught between brilliance and notoriety—and the media storm that followed.

There are going to be some TRAGIC fantasy football draft accidents this year

GOOOOOL

Gente che mente sugli esami universitari poi crolla quando deve confessare che non si laurea. Mentre un mio amico non disse a casa che aveva finito gli esami perché "se mi hanno mantenuto fino a 24 anni possono mantenermi fino a 26"

Ho appena realizzato che Fofana stesse facendo contemporaneamente l’esultanza di Leao e quella di Pulisic Ai miei figli dirò che quest’uomo era Dio

📌Yesterday, there was a very emotional moment on CBS’s UCL Today, when Thierry Henry took a moment to show his deep respect and admiration for Micah Richards 🥹❤️ “You made me realize something and actually relate to that. So, at the end of my career, I played ten years with extreme pain in my Achilles, on both sides. But I was able to finish my career on my own terms. And you couldn’t do that. So I have the utmost respect for you for… for dealing with that. I don’t know how you handled it mentally. And yet you’re always here, happy, lifting everyone’s spirits. And I just wanted to tell you that because we don’t take you for granted. I wanted you to know that because sometimes you might feel like you’re not being seen. And we do see you. And I have to say that now you’re in my hero bracket. And you are my favorite on this show. I’ll tell you that.” Tití will always be pure class.

Lewis Hamilton call your lawyer we're getting you #8

Somewhere Bill Belichick is mad that he never thought of agreeing to fake trades to throw off the rest of the leagues' salary caps