todge.

They spent all week trying to tell us they'd beat 2008 Manchester United and couldn't even beat 2026 Manchester United. 😭

There’s a certain race of people that just simply cannot fathom it when you say you don’t ever really have any intentions to ski.

I will laugh at this cunt every single time he says bosh.

@Ankaman616 Dog shit mittens

Same again please. Sum that game up in 3 words, Reds. #MUFC

Describe that first half in 3 words, Reds. #MUFC

@antonypearce03 Have I ever told you how handsome he is?

@LewisLightburn Agreed. But hes my half cousin so leave him alone

Charlie Hunnam is so unbelievably bad at accents in absolutely everything he does.

My wife, an Australian, saying she couldn’t move to the UK because of all the wasps 🧐

Air Sesko babbbbbyyy

They didn’t lose. It wasn’t funny.

It’s going to be so funny if Liverpool lose today.

@timfarron What’s your running playlist, Tim?

6 weeks until the London Marathon. I’ve just done an 18 miler around the beautiful lanes of North Westmorland and along Haweswater. I’m running to raise funds for Growing Well who support local people on their road to mental health recovery. Please help: 2025tcslondonmarathon.enthuse.com/pf/tim-farron

@UnitedRo4d @footballtweet But Djemba-Djemba Djemba-Djemba wouldn’t fit on the back of his shirt

@footballtweet Eric Djemba-Djemba. So good they named him twice

Which player should be sitting at the GOAT table alongside Cristiano Ronaldo and Leo Messi? 🤔🐐

@SenseiCarl_ Runcorn baby!

Watching a classic episode of Airline from 1997. Sorry, she’s marrying fucking WHO?

@northalcfc Mate I’ve worked outside in the cold, and I’ve worked outside in this. Cold wins every time.

You know it’s hot as all fuck when you drive to work at 4:30am and need to have the aircon blasting in the car. Today’s going to be a good day.

@FinnlayK @PaulMcCartney @ringostarrmusic Did you piss yourself?

I’m in shock. @PaulMcCartney just brought @ringostarrmusic out for a couple of songs. Heads gone 🤯

Man United bought Noussair Mazraoui for £12.8million. Absolutely unbelievable bit of business.

@texasjillybean Looks alright that does Jill.

Where has my 3 year old learnt to breakdance when hip hop music is on?? 😂