Mike Tiley

@TrollFootball2 The only thing missing from this video is him being dropped from the stretcher!

Shocking scenes in the Asian Champions League 😰 Ali Majrashi’s bicycle kick attempt catches Jairo straight in the face. Never seen anything like this.

@RustyBComedian Black belt in origami

The old chap at Palace last night giving it the big uns to Fiorentina fans… but it’s the older lady mugging him off behind, that got me 🤣

@RoterFuchs44 @FacundoSavala @grok describe in detail a wet biscuit match

@FacundoSavala He live streamed a wet biscuit match involving himself, Vernon Kay and Tim Westwood (Westwood was playing the part of the biscuit)

So what are the Scott Mills rumours then? 👀

No Eze, no Timber. Fuming.

Where the fuck has this Eze rumours come from?

@robbietaylor_86 Robbie you weren't at the ground by any chance were you?

Max Dowman was crap by the way. Mykolenko pocketed him at every opportunity. Then Pickford missed a cross, and he scored a goal with no keeper and he’s now the new coming of Messi. Honestly.

@kimmoFC Liam from Accounts

He's so unbearable. A weak, disrespectuful and immoral man. The team huddle around the center circle is obviously one of his Linked-in inspired ideas.

@Globalstats11 At least in some parts of the world I'm considered large..

Average Erect Penis Size by Country 🍌 🇸🇩 Sudan - 17.95 cm - 7.1 inch 🇨🇩 DR Congo - 17.93 cm - 7.1 inch 🇪🇨 Ecuador - 17.59 cm - 6.9 inch 🇬🇭 Ghana - 17.31 cm - 6.8 inch 🇳🇬 Nigeria - 17.00 cm - 6.7 inch 🇻🇪 Venezuela - 16.93 cm - 6.7 inch 🇱🇧 Lebanon - 16.82 cm - 6.6 inch 🇨🇴 Colombia - 16.75 cm - 6.6 inch 🇨🇲 Cameroon - 16.65 cm - 6.6 inch 🇯🇲 Jamaica - 16.30 cm - 6.4 inch 🇰🇪 Kenya - 16.28 cm - 6.4 inch 🇸🇳 Senegal - 15.89 cm - 6.3 inch 🇨🇺 Cuba - 15.87 cm - 6.2 inch 🇳🇿 New Zealand - 15.73 cm - 6.2 inch 🇿🇲 Zambia - 15.78 cm - 6.2 inch 🇧🇿 Belize - 15.75 cm - 6.2 inch 🇦🇴 Angola - 15.73 cm - 6.2 inch 🇧🇷 Brazil - 15.70 cm - 6.2 inch 🇦🇺 Australia - 15.70 cm - 6.2 inch 🇿🇼 Zimbabwe - 15.68 cm - 6.2 inch 🇳🇱 Netherlands - 15.60 cm - 6.1 inch 🇵🇾 Paraguay - 15.53 cm - 6.1 inch 🇵🇦 Panama - 15.49 cm - 6.1 inch 🇵🇱 Poland - 15.41 cm - 6.1 inch 🇹🇩 Chad - 15.39 cm - 6.1 inch 🇸🇪 Sweden - 15.36 cm - 6.0 inch 🇿🇦 South Africa - 15.29 cm - 6.0 inch 🇨🇮 Ivory Coast - 15.22 cm - 6.0 inch 🇧🇪 Belgium - 15.14 cm - 6.0 inch 🇵🇹 Portugal - 15.14 cm - 6.0 inch 🇵🇪 Peru - 15.07 cm - 5.9 inch 🇩🇰 Denmark - 15.07 cm - 5.9 inch 🇬🇲 Gambia - 15.07 cm - 5.9 inch 🇦🇷 Argentina - 14.88 cm - 5.9 inch 🇷🇸 Serbia - 14.87 cm - 5.8 inch 🇭🇷 Croatia - 14.77 cm - 5.8 inch 🇬🇾 Guyana - 14.75 cm - 5.8 inch 🇦🇹 Austria - 14.69 cm - 5.8 inch 🇱🇻 Latvia - 14.69 cm - 5.8 inch 🇭🇺 Hungary - 14.68 cm - 5.8 inch 🇺🇾 Uruguay - 14.67 cm - 5.8 inch 🇧🇬 Bulgaria - 14.66 cm - 5.8 inch 🇹🇳 Tunisia - 14.61 cm - 5.8 inch 🇨🇱 Chile - 14.59 cm - 5.7 inch 🇮🇸 Iceland - 14.56 cm - 5.7 inch 🇱🇹 Lithuania - 14.55 cm - 5.7 inch 🇫🇷 France - 14.50 cm - 5.7 inch 🇩🇿 Algeria - 14.49 cm - 5.7 inch 🇩🇪 Germany - 14.48 cm - 5.7 inch 🇪🇷 Eritrea - 14.39 cm - 5.7 inch 🇳🇴 Norway - 14.34 cm - 5.6 inch 🇬🇧 UK - 14.30 cm - 5.6 inch 🇨🇭 Switzerland - 14.25 cm - 5.6 inch 🇺🇦 Ukraine - 14.25 cm - 5.6 inch 🇸🇮 Slovenia - 14.13 cm - 5.6 inch 🇦🇱 Albania - 14.19 cm - 5.6 inch 🇨🇿 Czechia - 14.07 cm - 5.5 inch 🇪🇪 Estonia - 14.01 cm - 5.5 inch 🇺🇸 USA - 13.95 cm - 5.5 inch 🇲🇽 Mexico - 13.92 cm - 5.5 inch 🇨🇻 Cape Verde - 13.85 cm - 5.5 inch 🇸🇰 Slovakia - 13.81 cm - 5.4 inch 🇧🇾 Belarus - 13.80 cm - 5.4 inch 🇨🇦 Canada - 13.80 cm - 5.4 inch 🇬🇪 Georgia - 13.57 cm - 5.3 inch 🇬🇱 Greenland - 13.57 cm - 5.3 inch 🇲🇦 Morocco - 13.50 cm - 5.3 inch 🇪🇬 Egypt - 13.35 cm - 5.3 inch 🇱🇺 Luxembourg - 13.32 cm - 5.2 inch 🇨🇷 Costa Rica - 13.31 cm - 5.2 inch 🇲🇾 Malaysia - 13.29 cm - 5.2 inch 🇦🇿 Azerbaijan - 13.12 cm - 5.2 inch 🇹🇷 Turkey - 13.11 cm - 5.2 inch 🇦🇫 Afghanistan - 13.10 cm - 5.2 inch 🇮🇱 Israel - 13.00 cm - 5.1 inch 🇫🇮 Finland - 12.98 cm - 5.1 inch 🇪🇸 Spain - 12.98 cm - 5.1 inch 🇪🇹 Ethiopia - 12.93 cm - 5.1 inch 🇯🇴 Jordan - 12.90 cm - 5.1 inch 🇰🇿 Kazakhstan - 12.44 cm - 4.9 inch 🇺🇿 Uzbekistan - 12.43 cm - 4.9 inch 🇬🇹 Guatemala - 12.24 cm - 4.8 inch 🇦🇲 Armenia - 12.10 cm - 4.8 inch 🇨🇾 Cyprus - 12.02 cm - 4.7 inch 🇮🇳 India - 11.93 cm - 4.7 inch 🇧🇭 Bahrain - 11.93 cm - 4.7 inch 🇨🇳 China - 11.90 cm - 4.7 inch 🇴🇲 Oman - 11.85 cm - 4.7 inch 🇮🇪 Ireland - 11.79 cm - 4.6 inch 🇲🇳 Mongolia - 11.77 cm - 4.6 inch 🇷🇴 Romania - 11.73 cm - 4.6 inch 🇸🇻 El Salvador - 11.71 cm - 4.6 inch 🇯🇵 Japan - 11.60 cm - 4.6 inch 🇦🇪 UAE - 11.54 cm - 4.5 inch 🇮🇹 Italy - 11.50 cm - 4.5 inch 🇹🇼 Taiwan - 11.50 cm - 4.5 inch 🇶🇦 Qatar - 11.41 cm - 4.5 inch 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia - 11.40 cm - 4.5 inch 🇭🇳 Honduras - 11.40 cm - 4.5 inch 🇬🇷 Greece - 11.30 cm - 4.4 inch 🇮🇩 Indonesia - 11.07 cm - 4.4 inch 🇮🇷 Iran - 11.04 cm - 4.3 inch 🇹🇿 Tanzania - 11.02 cm - 4.3 inch 🇵🇰 Pakistan - 11.01 cm - 4.3 inch 🇰🇼 Kuwait - 10.85 cm - 4.3 inch 🇧🇩 Bangladesh - 10.80 cm - 4.3 inch 🇭🇰 Hong Kong - 10.75 cm - 4.2 inch 🇸🇬 Singapore - 10.75 cm - 4.2 inch 🇵🇭 Philippines - 10.65 cm - 4.2 inch 🇰🇷 South Korea - 10.50 cm - 4.1 inch 🇱🇰 Sri Lanka - 10.16 cm - 4.0 inch 🇻🇳 Vietnam - 10.15 cm - 4.0 inch 🇲🇲 Myanmar - 10.10 cm - 4.0 inch 🇳🇵 Nepal - 9.51 cm - 3.7 inch 🇰🇭 Cambodia - 8.91 cm - 3.5 inch 🇰🇵 North Korea - 8.60 cm - 3.4 inch 🇹🇭 Thailand - 8.43 cm - 3.3 inch Note: Selected countries only. Source: World Population Review

@scrapytweets "Sorry no Inglés"

This is nasty 😂😂

@ChrisWheatley Liam from Accounts

Mikel Arteta on Liam Rosenior's annoyance during Tuesday's warm-ups, which he called 'disrespect': "It's his opinion and we respect everybody. At any moment one of the staff member went through that, we apologise and that's it. "It's very common in football, especially with the goalkeepers and long balls and all that, so nothing there to comment. "Sometimes it's difficult because you cannot be aware constantly about everything and we are human beings and we react to things so it's normal. "I try to give the right example and if that's the intention, that's OK."

@henrywinter Liam from Accounts

Liam Rosenior is a highly promising young coach as he proved at Derby, Hull, Strasbourg and with six wins in eight games at Chelsea. He thinks deeply about the game. He’s obviously a very intelligent person. He’s also worked in the media. So Rosenior should be smart enough to avoid observations that lead to headlines unhelpful to him and his players. Coaches, especially goalkeeping ones, do step into the opposition half to deliver long kicks to warm up their keeper. It happens often. Crossing the halfway line isn’t crossing the line. The media was always going to pick up Rosenior’s spiky comments towards Arsenal staff at the time – TV cameras everywhere, let alone fans filming the warm-up at the Emirates – and then follow up in his press conference yesterday. Rosenior talked about “respect” and, however nuanced he might have been, and respectful towards Mikel Arteta, it was always going to lead to large headlines screaming antagonism towards Arsenal. The whole incident made Rosenior look a bit weak, rather than strong. It seems a minor issue to look rattled about anyway. Rise above it. Rosenior may not care about the headlines, and some Chelsea fans may love his cocksure attitude, but it serves as fuel to the fire of opponents, it creates unnecessary negativity around him and he could use more of that time also bigging up his own team. He spoke about Cole Palmer. So speak more about what a special player he is. Accentuate positives about your own team, not throw negatives at others. Especially when they’ve just beaten you home and away. #CFC

@charles_watts Liam from accounts.

I can't believe how big a thing Liam Rosenior has made out of an absolutely nothing incident. To follow up his obvious 'for the cameras' fake outrage on Tuesday night with his 'lack of respect' comments yesterday was so ridiculous. You see that sort of thing happening with a keeper's warm-up kicking drill every week, up and down the country. It happens all the time. No-one bats an eyelid. It's just really bizarre. He should probably just focus on working on his first touch.

@ArsenalN7 Skelly just casually waiting to take the throw🤣

🇳🇱 Look at Pastor Timber and and his good mate Jeremie Frimpong during the bust-up following the Conor Bradley x Gabriel Martinelli incident

@AnfieldPapers @SkySportPL May as well leave it there boys.

The Premier League trophy will be showcased at the Emirates Stadium during Liverpool's match against Arsenal. (@SkySportPL)

@sophialily23 Love it!

This is coming everywhere with me 🫶🏼

@honeymoon250 Wrap Maga

Wrong answers only: What is the name of this fighting style? 🤔 😝

Name a movie where the soundtrack elevated the entire experience.

@lady_valor_07 Pop down the paper shop for a copy of Razzle

🤔

@Matt_Pinner Demi Moore

Who is this? Wrong answers only.

"Oh you wanna talk about motherssss"