Paul David Collins

Bukayo Saka 🤝 Viktor Gyokeres The @Arsenal pair are the most-transferred in players so far ahead of Gameweek 37 🔴

I can't say I'm surprised, but . . . The Donald just asked ME and anyone who didn't answer his survey if we are ILLEGAL ALIENS. And then? He threatened to have ICE come and track me down. Maybe we just think you're an asshole.

We've teamed up with @RetroBitGaming to give away a copy of Toaplan Collection 2 for the Sega Genesis / Mega Drive! To be in with a chance to win, make sure you're following both @timeextension64 and @RetroBitGaming and then reshare and like this post

@NadBadDangerous Cosplaytriot

@MisterABK @GuanoLad Licensed to quill

@GuanoLad I'm in my 1630s.

@MisterABK Gotta say, that couple look like they might be quite closely related...

Happy Halloween to every troubled couple visiting a rural community.

This app lies to me multiple times a day... #fakenews

@TomTugendhat @DanJarvisMBE Classy.

@UKUpdates_co_uk @reformparty_uk No, Dolphin for the win.

Will you be voting for reform UK?

@OFalafel That should catch any spilled Salacious's...

One for the #StarWars nerds

@KnutCrosswords The full Royal package...

*off-colour post, soz* Where to get relief and a blow job for a hundred quid? (8)

Opens Twitter. Looks at trending topics. Sighs. Closes Twitter.

@NadineDorries 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

‘If Boris came back for the General Election it could save as many as 80 MPs. It would give Conservatives hope, a reason to vote. If we go into an election and Boris is out in the cold, voters will simply stay at home and sit on their hands.’ 💥 ✍️⬇️ dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1…

@Exploding_Heads I'll have crack at Spikle, lads...

SPORTS HORN CASTING CALL: Looking for these voices: ORC (male or female, any accent) TRANSLATOR (male or female, must be able to do flat, monotonous, bored voice) FATHER CASPER SPIKLE (male, any accent) TOMMO (male, London) Reply below and we'll DM the lucky ones at random

Chin, or tongue? #Trump

🌻 Announcing my new book One Ukrainian Summer, a memoir about Russia and Ukraine in the early 1990s. Out May 23 with ⁦@IthakaPress⁩. All author proceeds go to ⁦@pen_int⁩ 🌻Pre-order: geni.us/OneUkrainianSu…

Hello. My name is Ross from Traitors. You killed my mother. Prepare to die. #TheTraitors #TheTraitorsUK

TFW you ask for a pet, but aren't specific enough...

@elisjames The single most sinister bit is MARTHA'S GOT PLENTY...

An absolutely hilarious advert that I find funnier with each repeated viewing. ‘WE’VE ALL GOT PLENTY’

@MarinaHyde @richardosman There is a certain delicious irony here that there are millions of people who are only learning about Joey Barton for the first time now because of his attitude to the infinitely more iconic Mary Earps. For them he is just the 'cock in a box' guy.

@richardosman Hahahaha unboxing episode

My column on the men who simply CAN’T handle Mary Earps winning Sports Personality of the Year, and have consequently tried to ruin it for her theguardian.com/commentisfree/…