🧵 prediction: ethereum will rush ahead with a hastily designed and implemented “quantum-resistant” hard fork because they are desperate for a new narrative that will stop the bleeding against bitcoin. this will be hyped by Coinbase.eth and every VC bag holder, accompanied by a narrative that bitcoin governance is too slow and flawed to upgrade against this imminent and existential threat. how imminent this threat is will be left as an exercise to the reader, but it need not matter. (you can see the basic outline of this coordinated attack forming in real time.) the specifics never matter. bitcoin wasn’t “full” - we just needed bigger blocks because it would be full, imminently (still isn’t). bitcoin wasn’t using all of the energy on planet earth, but we defined needed proof of stake because it would, imminently (still doesn’t). crypto grift is a flat circle, my poor exhausted maximalist friends: there is always a narrative. there needs to be a narrative to sell shit to retards. and if you’re wondering why the narratives are always so retarded, well, it’s targeted advertising innit? it is always loosely aligned and coordinated spontaneously by the usual cadre of aligned interests: casino exchanges, aging crypto-Gypsies holding bags they regret not unloading sooner, and retarded chart traders gooning to whatever fractal pattern confirms their bias. it will work for a time. after all, there is always a new retard to sell to. and this time you’ll have some of the more modestly iq’d Wall Street boomers get taken in. (look at how easily @JanvanEck3 got baited into shilling a ten year old vc premined shitcoin on cnbc). they will see this as an opportunity to shill some penny-crypto etf product that is beneath BlackRock’s consideration, but it will also assuage their boomer-turd brains that no, they weren’t wrong about bitcoin all this time. it really was doomed all along, you see, because quantum. $ETH, the mothership of all things unholy in crypto, will pump against $BTC a bit - a lower high than it managed on the merge hype - but nonetheless high enough that last cycle’s top-buyers get to unload on the next generation of top-buyers at an acceptable price, and the crypto-gypsies get to unload a bit more of their cursed premine bags. but more importantly, quantum-eth will bequeath on the panoply of lesser turdcoins a small portion of its manufactured largesse. what Satoshi did, you see, is prove that you could print digital money - and people would buy it! of course, he made it difficult and costly to print, but once you open that Pandora’s box, it doesn’t easily close. there is always someone who understands that people are fucking retarded, and printing money and selling it to retards is the best business model in the world. it will all crash again, of course, like a wave function decaying into entropy, but not before grifters sell bullshit to retards. such it is, as it was, as it will always be (as it were). I wish this weren’t true, but sadly the incentives have not and never will change so just mute “quantum” and chill let’s all vibe with @saylor and go on buying bitcoin. because that’s still all you need to do.
