The Ump's Ump

A backhand slice winner on her first stroke after the serve. Lovely striking of the ball @ashbarty . Good luck in Melbourne!

@ADHDdesigner @petequily Kitchen and basically all cabinets need glass doors.

What is something you would redesign to be more ADHD friendly if you could? #askADHD

@Riske4rewards Ali, JP needs to stay away from the Yastremsk BH on 2nd service, at least until her 1st srv % is up. 🙏 #BillieJeanKingCup

And, folks, this is how you write a clickbait tweet that sounds introspective. [I agree the 'optics' are horrible but there is more to it than meets the eye. Novak has *already had* COVID-19, being a huge one.]

@NikolausFink I don't know why I replied, it just occurred to me that your job requires you to write clickbait. But I stand by what I initially said.

@NikolausFink You do realize that he already has *had* COVID-19? Which is generally better than any vaccine, not counting Omicron, but Omicron is gonna get everyone anyway (=>it *is* the start of the endemic phase <yay>).

It will be *VERY* interesting to see how people in Melbourne, the city with the world's longest COVID-19 lockdown, will react to Novak Djokovic playing at the Australian Open.

@efevelon @ascharfmind @BenRothenberg @WTA It wouldn't be. Her being demonstrably out of country would be the only way to feel like she's even close to safe.

@ascharfmind @BenRothenberg @WTA how would speaking with her on the phone/zoom be enough to confirm she's safe?

From Chinese state media, “from” Peng Shuai. Deeply dubious.

@xTani @ascharfmind @BenRothenberg @WTA Don't back a horse you know is tainted. That's not too hard, is it?

I am devastated and shocked to hear about the news of my peer, Peng Shuai. I hope she is safe and found as soon as possible. This must be investigated and we must not stay silent. Sending love to her and her family during this incredibly difficult time. #whereispengshuai

@stringersworld Your password management business logic is totally wrecked. You need some professional advice.

@TennisChannelPR Why can't y'all keep the recent tournament matches online longer?—I haven't finished watching Miami WTA, and now I can't find the rest since the site no longer has a Miami entry in the "On Demand" list on the landing page. Grrrrr.

@Andreescu_Fans @Bandreescu_ My two favorite players: what a terrible draw. There should be a honorary seed for HSW so she doesn't face top ten players too early. Her singles ranking shoud be halved for majors—that'd be a start.

It wasn’t to be today but it’s certainly great to see Bianca back fighting out there on court ❤️💪 15 month wait and got a win in her first tournament back!

@PDRScanner I have a 12G Mossberg pump by the door hinge. C'mon in, bruh, I got just what you need. #2A

🐕 en route to the area of Lincoln & Venice. They have a pretty good lead on where the suspect may be but I will withhold that information for now. Suspect has a no bail warrant. STAY INSIDE AND KEEP DOORS & WINDOWS LOCKED

@CristinaNcl @Aaronk28 Not when line judge Karen [not her real name] jumps to the ground like she'd been bit by an alligator. That kind of thing tends to sway the jury, which should be not all that surprising.

What is the purpose of having rules in sports? Are there instances where common sense can override the rules? Prakash Wadhwa talks with @Aaronk28 , #sharethetrophy leader and an ardent Tennis fan, who brings a very interesting talk on Novak Djokovic DQ 👍 buzzsprout.com/562450/5491090

@WSJ Selection bias. Look it up @wsj . Also 'silver spoon effects.' You guys have lost the plot.

The Ivy League dominates this year’s WSJ/THE College Rankings, but the future of U.S. universities has never been murkier #WSJWhatsNow

@DailyMailUK Please don't use push notifications from your Android app to send match results of Major Championships. Are you guys total arseholes?

@SantaMonicaPD Keeping tennis courts closed makes no sense. And the USTA has real guidelines players can follow! #openthecourts youtu.be/HHcM3sDScWE

#SantaMonica anticipates #LACounty will loosen restrictions May13th for limited beach recreation activities. ⛔ Closed: Beach Parking Lots, #SantaMonicaPier, Ocean Front Walk, Bike Path, Muscle Beach & Tennis Courts ✅ Allowed: Surfing, Swimming, Jogging & Walking

@dennisdiclaudio I'm hopeful that our response puts the nail in the coffin for open-plan offices, ending the de facto psychological torture and huge productivity wastes that the C-level biz "leaders" can't wrap their head around. #openofficehell