Castle Simpher

"I can't read from that far away."

"Tell us a fun story. Something about Dwight."

"ARE YOU EVEN IN KAPPA? we taught you better than that."

"Im talking normal because I can hear myself!"

"I'm not good with adjectives."

"MY BIKINI ITCHES A LITTLE BIT."

"Sassy bitch. I WILL FUCK HER UP."

"I was putting lotion on my legs at 1:45."

"A meal is NOT included on the catamaran."

"Do you guys remember how red my knees get when I drink vodka?! I've told you a hundred times."

"Can you ever feel your forehead when you're drunk?"

"Yes. I'm only wearing one band because I only have one long sleeve."

"Your prime rib tastes like meatloaf."

"So this kid, he would ice his sores"

"She skimped out on the meat."

"I have to REALLY lean in here."

"The coffee shop?! You're going to the coffee shop?!"

"It's good but I know this taste goes on my legs" re: vanilla whisky in a lotion bottle.

"Bless. I said a prayer earlier."

"He's the comedian? Oh thank god."