Colin Baines

@FreebieBean 😘

@ColinBaines Hello Bainesy! Glad you’re still hanging in there 😘 give that kiss to Harry for me. Happy Valentine’s 😊

Valentine's Day cards in the shops ALREADY.

@SunshineDebb I don't know what the world's coming to, I really don't 😘

@FreebieBean Nothing wrong with a bit of lingering 😘

@ColinBaines Happy New Year to you and Harry! I’m like a bad smell I linger.

Happy New Year to everyone still on Twitter.

Not you, Muskrat. Ruiner.

Temu are going to be seriously disappointed when they find out I'm not a billionaire.

My wife and I met at a 'Make a Jelly in the Shape of a US President' class, and I knew she was the one, from the moment I set Eisenhower.

@Shame4me 😬

@ColinBaines Speak for yourself! 😀

Fuck me the moons a bit close.

I'd only have spent it on good causes of course.

£12

Had a lottery win.

Yes I'm still in shorts. Yes, because I'm stupid.

@SunshineDebb To be honest I usually stop reading at 'chocolate' 😘

Only 44 sleeps until Christmas Gonk Day.

Why yes, I AM confused about crypto.

1. How was our delivery? 2. Give us five stars or more to be entered in our bi-annual competition to win a luxury biscuit selection. 3. Bonus question: what's your favourite cardboard?

There's nothing quite like watching a documentary on the American Civil War whilst eating tinned peaches with a fork. What a time to be alive.