Conservatives

@MELondonHotel didn't let my ME suffering secret love child in for Breakfast. I had to leave him outside chained to a lamp post.

@woodo79 @johnprescott @grantshapps why did you RT this, John? Play the ruddy game would you.

Right, I'm off to a business lunch at Radio @MELondonHotel it's for Tories only. If you look remotely non-tory you've got no chance, chap.

Just asked a pop group I won't let my daughter listen to about the EU. Probably going to get a reply about eyelash glue or something. HA!

#asklittlemix what are the pro's and cons of staying in the EU? HAHAHA! Sorry, I'm so sorry. No really. I just couldn't resist.

Plans for the weekend? I'm listening to all of Hitler's 'big' speeches in the study on audio tape. Often mimicking his hand gestures too.

There is literally cheese all round where you were sitting last night @MayorofLondon and the help's called in sick. Who's going to clean it?

Just found out the value of my holiday home in the Philippines has plummeted. Just my ruddy 'uddy luck that is.

Traitors to your own kind, @LiverpoolTories big respect.

Sexist? We let our WAG's set this account up: @cwowomen

Just had a croissant for lunch, there. @UKLabour

@David_Cameron quick one, Dave. The wife's taken the Rangey and my eldest has bloody taken the Golf. What's the least 'ethnic' tube line?

Bought a Polish Rosetta Stone as I'm having a nightmare with the help. Then I realised I could get my toddler to teach them better English.

Save money on paying your staff by hiring them as free interns. You'd be surprised how enthusiastic and hard working young people start off.