Me in the back of my moms Toyota Siena when she won’t let me sleepover my friends house
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Cpt Bernie Cooper
111 posts
Cpt Bernie Cooper
@CptBernieCooper
Great Captain, Better Man
เข้าร่วม Şubat 2025
35 กำลังติดตาม32 ผู้ติดตาม
@WMarshal1st @Applebees @McsorleyErnest Tell that single mother to shut it and get you another margarita
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Waitress at @Applebees asked me if I was done with my meal. Why does the lord tempt us with lust? @McsorleyErnest @CptBernieCooper
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Bill Polian confirmed biggest cuck bitch of all time. Hang him from the Brady statue
Ari Meirov@MySportsUpdate
From the ESPN report: Bill Polian was a vocal figure in the Hall of Fame deliberations involving Bill Belichick, with Spygate and Deflategate coming up among voters during discussions. Per a voter who spoke anonymously, Polian — the former Bills and Colts GM and longtime Patriots rival — told some voters he believed Belichick should “wait a year” as penance for Spygate.
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@McsorleyErnest @realDonaldTrump @grford005 @SgtOLeary1959 @donaldfvckyou @ThePopeJP02 Thanks for bringing awareness to this tragedy cap (my trip being cancelled.) Maduro could have been holding my family ransom and I still would have told him to wait till I landed
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Does @realDonaldTrump even take family vacations into consideration before bombing dictators?
My fellow Captian @CptBernieCooper had his Aruba trip cancelled!
CC: @grford005 @SgtOLeary1959 @donaldfvckyou @ThePopeJP02
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@McsorleyErnest @CaptainESmith @SgtOLeary1959 @KipsBayKen @Roger_dornJD @MurrayHillGuy1 Who would ever do that. Not my captain. Let’s make America straight again
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My response to my buddies posting instagram dumps
To: @CptBernieCooper @CaptainESmith @SgtOLeary1959
CC: @KipsBayKen @Roger_dornJD @MurrayHillGuy1
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Everyone’s gotta have two vices, mine are cracking hog and boozing!
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@CaptainESmith @iLoveWhiteHoes_ @McsorleyErnest @BaunceyChillup @KipsBayKen Hammer the under. I’d put the line at 3.5
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How many beers before I start dropping bombs (racial comments)? Over under 7.5
Cc:@CptBernieCooper @iLoveWhiteHoes_ @McsorleyErnest
FWD: @BaunceyChillup @KipsBayKen
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@McsorleyErnest @MurrayHillGuy1 @JerseyShoreGuy5 @grford005 @MoeLesterrrrr @whiskeythinking @KipsBayKen This is A1 game, Ernest. You’ve practically already porked her.
Congrats on the sex,
Bernie
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Putting this one out there for debate, is this game?
CC: @MurrayHillGuy1 @JerseyShoreGuy5 @grford005 @CptBernieCooper @MoeLesterrrrr
BCC: @whiskeythinking @KipsBayKen
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@McsorleyErnest @JamesPODon21953 @grford005 @Roger_dornJD Parlaying this and betting my life savings on it. If it hits I’ll buy you an island. If it doesn’t you can give the eulogy at my funeral.
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Wanted to get this back out there for the public to see before kickoff!
Give me Goff 4500 in the air and 35TDs as well!
CC: @JamesPODon21953 @grford005 @Roger_dornJD @CptBernieCooper
Ernest M. McSorley@McsorleyErnest
Ernest here, lions going 13-4 next year. 3 peat for NFC north. Gibbs and Monty over 1k ARSB and JAMO over 1k Hutch 10+ sacks NFC championship win Super Bowl loss
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@McsorleyErnest @jasrifootball @PatMcAfeeShow @baja_my_blast @KipsBayKen @bigrogtom @MoeLesterrrrr This news is worth starting a war over
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@jasrifootball @PatMcAfeeShow ESPN is worse than Al-Qaeda
CC: @CptBernieCooper @baja_my_blast @KipsBayKen @bigrogtom @MoeLesterrrrr
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BREAKING: NFL RedZone will now contain actual full commercials this upcoming season, via @PatMcAfeeShow
The new intro will be “7 Hours of RedZone Football start now”
No more commercial free 💔
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@CaptainESmith @McsorleyErnest @JackieRobbiejr @grford005 How’s the ass? The O usually deflates that puppy
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I saw this chick at bar around Thanksgiving last year. She was bad back in the day, but she looked chunky and washed now. She just posted a photo on IG looking bad again.
Do we think she’s on the O? 💉💉
CC: @McsorleyErnest @CptBernieCooper
@JackieRobbiejr
@grford005
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@McsorleyErnest @Degen_CPA @CaptainESmith @Roger_dornJD @MoeLesterrrrr @nelkboys Ernest, if she’s gonna laugh at that, next time answer “head.”
She won’t be laughing, cause she’ll be sucking.
Best wishes,
Bernie
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Had my weekly 1:1 with my manager today, she asked me “what do you need from me?”
“A raise” I said
She laughed..
Guess I’ll be coasting through the rest of this quarter. Sorry sis!
CC: @Degen_CPA @CptBernieCooper @CaptainESmith @Roger_dornJD @MoeLesterrrrr
BCC: @nelkboys
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Cpt Bernie Cooper รีทวีตแล้ว
@McsorleyErnest @KipsBayKen @Roger_dornJD @Degen_CPA @Gramercy_Goblin @MurrayHillGuy1 @KidRock Ernest,
I already took the day off tomorrow for the same reason. A hog day is needed for every red blooded American now and then.
Enjoy!
Bernie
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To: my boss
CC: @KipsBayKen @Roger_dornJD @CptBernieCooper @Degen_CPA
BCC: @Gramercy_Goblin @MurrayHillGuy1
Sorry Chief, I won’t be coming in tomorrow. Instead, I’ll be stuck in a cranking hog vortex all day. Thank you for understanding!
Sincerely,
Ernest
FDW: @KidRock
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@KipsBayKen @Gramercy_Goblin @parkaveloafers @McsorleyErnest @WestBronxGuy Smelt that from a mile away! (not a Jew joke)
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@Roger_dornJD @ELONMUSK69er @McsorleyErnest @CaptainESmith @grford005 @ThePopeJP02 @Kelseyplum10 @Reese10Angel @sophaller @sydneysweeney @Beyonce If they’re gonna use chicks for the broadcast it should be @sydney_sweeney @salmahayek ASMR
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@ELONMUSK69er @McsorleyErnest @CptBernieCooper @CaptainESmith @grford005 @ThePopeJP02 @Kelseyplum10 @Reese10Angel @sophaller @sydneysweeney @Beyonce Replace the Mebounder Reece with a Williams sister and I’d invest
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All women’s broadcast for the Red Sox tonight. When this game was invented they couldn’t vote, which I’d prefer to go back to now. Does anyone out there actually like this? #notsexistjustthetruth
CC: @McsorleyErnest @CaptainESmith @grford005 @Roger_dornJD @ThePopeJP02
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