DIYJase

Hi @elonmusk looking to buy a Tesla Model Y, my local showroom does not have all the colors in. Could you not have some bonnets or like 12” square pieces painted with the various colors? They did when I purchased my Aston.

@vicgoddard @RoyalMail And guess what if you are the seller of said item and try and get compensation off Royal Mail you have no hope. I’m not a supplier of goods but my daughter is. Shocking for both customer and seller. But it is what it is nothing will change only get worse unfortunately

Dear @RoyalMail the message below is a simple untruth. You have made no attempt to deliver the parcel. Someone has been in all day to receive it. At the time you state it was attempted the front door was open. Please just be honest and don’t become Evri

@gothburz You are funny, I like you

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking. Three months later I checked the usage reports. 47 people had opened it. 12 had used it more than once. One of them was me. I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. It took 45 seconds. Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. But I called it a "pilot success." Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. The CFO asked about ROI. I showed him a graph. The graph went up and to the right. It measured "AI enablement." I made that metric up. He nodded approvingly. We're "AI-enabled" now. I don't know what that means. But it's in our investor deck. A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." He asked what that meant. I said "compliance." He asked which compliance. I said "all of them." He looked skeptical. I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." He stopped asking questions. Microsoft sent a case study team. They wanted to feature us as a success story. I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. They didn't verify it. They never do. Now we're on Microsoft's website. "Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. He got 3,000 likes. He's never used Copilot. None of the executives have. We have an exemption. "Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." I wrote that policy. The licenses renew next month. I'm requesting an expansion. 5,000 more seats. We haven't used the first 4,000. But this time we'll "drive adoption." Adoption means mandatory training. Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. But completion will be tracked. Completion is a metric. Metrics go in dashboards. Dashboards go in board presentations. Board presentations get me promoted. I'll be SVP by Q3. I still don't know what Copilot does. But I know what it's for. It's for showing we're "investing in AI." Investment means spending. Spending means commitment. Commitment means we're serious about the future. The future is whatever I say it is. As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

@alexhalliday AIROPS

Seriously! The government is over reaching its power if you ask me. So people can drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and do lots of other unhealthy things but you can drink sugary drinks.

@MansurQr @Keir_Starmer Um @Keir_Starmer you really want to ban energy drinks? It likely to be the very kick start kids need to get them going in the morning after having been up all night on their smartphones. I do not condone energy drinks but you really think this is worth the gov focusing on clowns

@Keir_Starmer Prioritizing children’s health and focus at school is not nannying, it’s responsible policy. High-caffeine drinks can seriously affect sleep and learning.

I won't shy away from decisions to protect kids, even if there are the predictable cries of nanny state. We're stopping shops from selling high-caffeine energy drinks to under 16s, so they can turn up to school ready to learn.

@Keir_Starmer How many times do I have to say, not that you care as it’s all spin, it’s not your government, it’s our government as in the general public that put the government in power.

My mum was an NHS nurse. My sister and my wife both work for the NHS. I know how important it is. The Tories left it on its knees, but my government is fixing it so it's fit for the future. We’re rolling out new Neighbourhood Health Centres across the country, so you and your family can access the care you need quicker, in your community.

We have one kitten left a baby girl, ten weeks old. British Short Hair Colour Point. The other two have found their new home. We are near Bournemouth, DM for details.

@Keir_Starmer @Keir_Starmer stop blaming the last guard! U wanted power, U have power, just get on & do the job, look forward not back, stop sayin how much better you are. If you deliver lower taxes, increased jobs, better living standards, reduced bills, then u dont need criticise the cons.

South Western Railway is now under public ownership. And this is just the start. After decades of Tory failure, our Plan for Change will put passengers first, as promised. That will mean better services, with simpler ticketing, on more comfortable trains.

@Keir_Starmer Just get on with it and deliver, stop telling us what you plan to do, just do it !

The Tories lost control of our borders and let net migration soar to record levels, undercutting hardworking Brits. I won't stand for it. I promised to restore control and cut migration, and I'm delivering with tough new measures. British workers – I’ve got your back.

@Keir_Starmer Just get on and do your job and stop complaining about the last government. You wanted the job, you got it, now get on with it, stop dragging up the past. Blaming the last person in charge shows weakness and insecurity. Suck it up and just get on with things !

Under the Tories, interest rates skyrocketed, putting your mortgage up. Today interest rates have been cut for the fourth time in a row since Labour was elected. Our Plan for Change is delivering for working people.

@Keir_Starmer It’s not your government @Keir_Starmer it’s our Government. You represent the people not yourself, or do you?

Today, my government has stepped in to save British Steel and secure Britain’s future.

@Microsoft365 Is it sad that I remember runtime windows ! The first time I saw windows was as when we ran Alsus pacemaker 1.0 and it came with runtime windows. 😬

The real ones know what the last app is called 👇

@sospainter Not to bad hurt at the time, would just yank it out , but daughter wood nit let me so at A&E. No damage touch wood ! Lol

@DIYJase Yikes! I bet that is painful.

Ffs what an idiot I am lol 🤣

Spot the issue! @sainsburys

@StewartLynch Sign me up Stewart 👍 can’t wait, you taking pre orders 😃

I’m planning a full Swift/SwiftUI course to show you how to create a multi targeted app. Development is underway and the course will be released some time in early 2025. Follow me to stay up to date on release dates. Take a look at what we will build youtu.be/P75SiV3RPXA

DIY @adey_pro magnacleanse install. Cleared out with some MC5, left for 7 days and then now cleaned magnet and fed in some MC1+ , nice clean system , easy install , made easy by the magnacleanse design, anyone can install, so simple.

Look who is in Oxford! Bambi’s Bakes Pop on down to @foodiesfestival and grab some yumtastic bakes 😍 I will be there tomorrow helping out. #bambisbakes #oxford #foodiesfestival #cookie #brownie #blondie #brookies #brondie #cookiepie

@kenkeego @DJAUDITS Love it!

@DJAUDITS The Video Game . This is funny .