Mr Sergio@samson_samsen
"Emotional depth does not mean emotional dumping."
Apparently, women value men who are in touch with their emotions, who possess emotional fluency, because it makes them feel safe in their own impulsive, whimsical, and neurotic nature.
That is, the clamor for emotionally expressive men is an insidious attempt to degender, depersonify, or neuter, and simultaneously generalize what is, in fact, a distinctly feminine inadequacy.
So it's not born of empathy; it's born of insecurity.
That is, a man who weeps in front of his woman is, in that act, supplying her with a chemical relief - dopamine.
Because if he too is crying as she often does, then that confirms she is not, after all, abnormal for being moody or paranoid with her man—whether because they killed her favourite character in a movie, her ice cream spilled, or her toxic boss called her “the fat secretary" today.
If he too shows emotional break down, then her own instability becomes human and not hysterical.
This, perhaps, is the real reason women clamor for men to express their emotions: to recruit the men into the self-effacing labor of making women feel less alone in their own emotional volatility.
Because if women want men to be emotionally expressive (emotional depth) and at the same time do not want men to expect a resolution from them (emotional dumping), then women do not truly care about what the man is going through.
They only want to see him in a state that confirms shared similarity in what is typically regarded as a feminine inadequacy.
This, as you said, makes the woman feel a soulful connection with the man—but it does not change the fact that the gospel for men to be emotionally expressive, from the women’s camp, is selfish at best and insidious at worst.
There’s no gain for the man in it.
Women are only asking for their own reflection. They don't want to heal the men; they want to confirm that their own wounds are normal.
There's no gain for the man in it. In it the man loses twice: first, when he feels; and again when he realises that his feelings were never truly received, only observed.
There's no gain for the man in it - only a hollow performance of intimacy where his pain is the stage and her comfort the applause.
