Deth Base

🚨Dethklok was spotted eating at Red Lobster today. *This does not include Skwisgaar Skwigelf, who is still injured from his “play guitar while back flipping on a trampoline with spikes installed at the bottom” tiktok challenge attempt.

Dunkin’ unveils NEW Dethklok coffee beverage in celebration of their upcoming tour. The main ingredients include chocolate syrup, vanilla whipped topping, and hydrochloric acid.

🚨Pickles the Drummer has announced he is no longer appearing in Euphoria season 3. “I thought they had an actual narcotics budget like The Blues Brothers or something. I walked off set when I found out it was all fake shit.”

Dethklok’s producer, Dick Knubbler, when asked “What would you do if when you’re ok so yes he said yes would go?” in recent interview: “I don’t know what you mean there, babes.”

🚨Nathan Explosion reportedly has a cavity in his molar and is suffering toothaches. He is being very brave about it.

🚨William Murderface has been spotted at Coachella 2026

🚨Magnus Hammersmith has released his “betrayal” list.

Today is National Siblings Day.

🚨Nathan Explosion and William Murderface have gotten sick after trying the new McDonald’s “K-Pop Demon Hunters” meal. Sources state this will not effect their tour.

🚨UPDATE: Toki Wartooth has RECOVERED his Animal Jam account!

🚨BREAKING: Skwisgaar Skwigelf has been critically injured while attempting the viral “play guitar while back flipping on a trampoline with spikes installed at the bottom” tiktok challenge. We wish him a speedy recovery.

🚨BREAKING: Magnus Hammersmith has removed “Dethklok” from his bio.

🚨UPDATE: after mixed responses from fans due to his dismissive comments, Pickles the Drummer has purchased the Brainrot Bundle on Fortnite for 2,400 V-Bucks.

Dethklok’s beautiful and charming manager, Charles F. Offdensen, has solved the daily Wordle in six tries today.

🚨Toki Wartooth has been BANNED from Animal Jam. The reason is currently unknown.

🚨Crystal Mountains Records has confirmed Dethklok will NOT be headlining Coachella 2026. This is because they never were going to be performing.

Dethklok’s producer Dick “Magic Ears” Knubbler has logged Brian De Palma’s “Phantom of The Paradise” (1974) on letterboxd with 5 stars. “Big fan of that Swan guy.”

Dethklok’s producer Dick Knubbler when asked if he will be watching William Murderface’s upcoming “Planet Piss” movie: “IM GOOD BRO 😭😭🤦‍♂️”

Pickles the Drummer acknowledges new Tung Tung Tung Sahur x Fortnite collab in new interview: “I really don’t care.”

🚨 Guitar God Skwisgaar Skwigelf refutes dating rumours after he and Swedish pop sensation Zara Larsson were seen walking the red carpet together: “That ams my cousin you dildos.”