Kennedy Kituyi

@kokiimichii It depends on the level of poverty and how loaded you are

Someone said “the reason why relatives from your mother’s side are always good than your dad’s side is because relatives from your mothers side are sure you are their kid and your mum is your real mother . But on your dad’s side , they are not 100% sure if you are his real child . That the difference”

@Ameliiaae They only use them for experimental sex

Be honest ??

@presh_islit__ He is always angry

Signs a man hasn't had s£x for a long time? 😂

@FwTrex Boko Haram will eat them

Why is it that Nigerians don’t go camping in the forest at night?

@polo_kimanii Let's go back to some of our traditions

Some mathematics has never made sense to me. A poor family raising 2 million shillings so that they can go to and pay it to the hospital for it to release the body if their dead relative is bad mathematics for me. Mtu amekula pesa yote akiwa mgonjwa,alafu akule ingine akiwa mkufu,anawaacha kwa umaskini hohe hahe. Mimi nilikaisha hii watu yangu chini nikawaambia ile siku itawahi fanyika,nimekufa na bill imepita 1 million,wanisahao tu. Wasijiue wakijaribu kupea uhai kitu imekufa. Waniwache nitumike kama Specimen huko laboratories. Juu ata ukiwa umekufa hujuangi,uzikwe kwa geneza ya 400k,uzikwe na bedsheet,uzikwe na karatasi,its all the same. Mchwa itakufikia tu. Our ancestors used to throw the dead in escarpmets. Wàkua waikagio mūkuru. Sometimes if you become too sick to a point you become a burden,ulikua unawachwa msitu,ukipona unarudi nyumbani,ukikufa fisi zinasiaga wewe. Its as simple as that.

@xh8wg @sailboatson You have definitely experienced it

@DirectorKenito @sailboatson 😭

Type of girl you meet on the last day of vacation.

@4ts3l @sailboatson Say it in English

@DirectorKenito @sailboatson esas dos ptm

@bozgabi Siri ni kufika kama amelala

My younger sister knows lazima nikapelekee kitu nikitoka matembezi, so nikifika kama amelala narudisha kwa bag inakua ya the next day and so on. Hii town lazima tusurvive😂😂

@wa_ngachu @CertifiedKamau You will get confused. They are all fine babes

Had to be a murima babes Before you marry visit murima.

@nikokadiKE Pole sana. People will always not be honest about this. I prefer to buy headphones than ear pods for medical reasons

Avoid hizo earpods za oraimo bana. Mi nilizinunua juzi last month bana sai maskio zi auma kaa fucking zikona feature inaitwa "noice cancellation" inaziba any sound from the outside shida ni vile msee anaskia later. Mi sai nikieka loud music maskio inaanza kujifunga. Fuck it.

@muheediva01 I agree. 4 to 6 hours are the normal hours a human being can work optimum

I genuinely think if we all adopted a 4 day work week with 5-6 hour days, it would change the course of society. People would be happier, healthier, less angry, and more present. Social bonds would be stronger. It could literally change the entire world.

@Boomluck1zz Rumours say that

Did Doku really quit the World Cup to go and be with his pregnant wife?😳

@Opresii He saved them again, add him another 14 million followers

Cape Verde goalkeeper should give us back our 14 million followers

@mbafraaude He simply committed to breaking Guinness world record of most games watched by a FIFA President

Está en prácticamente todos los partidos. Nunca le he visto celebrar el gol de absolutamente ningún país. Salvo uno que todos recordamos.

@janelsooo Offside simply means never sleep at your girlfriend's place if you don't pay rent

Watching the World Cup and looked up Offsides. Offsides in Soccer is about the dumbest rule I've ever heard in my life.

@VanesaGarciaa86 Yes

Beso después del oral? Si o no?

@Wi_LaansDiary Stay and play for your country. The chance only comes once but getting someone is a personal decision

I have a question I need to ask the guys since I’ve seen this debate spark interest.. Men , would you leave the worldcup (let’s say you played for a country with potential & your team REALLY needs you) to attend the birth of your son? Or you staying and playing 4 ur country??

@Aduradara61049 Yes but I wasn't so much into her

Has a woman ever begged you desperately to date her?

@DikenaClinton A wise man would have talked to her, but a stupid one comes online to seek validity

Friends, I don't even know how to explain this... 😭 I found this in my wife's bag while she was sleeping. Her behavior has been a bit off for a while now, and now I'm totally freaking out. What the hell is this?? What is she hiding from me??

@muheediva01 Very true

Pro Tip: always return home from vacation on a Saturday night even if it's 1AM. Having that full Sunday at home before the work week is huge.