Fishish

Chud toddler: Ewww broccoli yucky 🤢🤢 Me: LMAO filtered by kino. Food doesn't have to be fun btw. Look up "theatre of cruelty".

We used to read Faulkner. Now we watch Focker. Fuck this.

jerk it till you kirk it

One time in college I blacked out and when I woke up I had tanked my chess.com Elo by over 400 points and when I explained to my roommates why I was nearly in tears they just laughed at me

[Werner Herzog voice] Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville

Red fucked and has a kid in ‘ANGRY BIRDS 3’.

jesus fucking christ

i have been accidentally becoming someone for a while now

@icey_melted I hate myself and I want to die

Put me in a movie, I can't act, I'm terribly camera shy, I don't have star power, I've never been told that I have "it", I look strange, I probably have iPhone face, I don’t feel comfortable in my body, I don't take criticism well, I fold under pressure, I can’t memorize anything

Source tells me Clavicular is stable. Please god

been giving this guy a fish every day. he keeps coming back for another one. I could teach him how to fish but I like feeling needed

Just told my bitch wife suffering from postpartum depression that there’s a lot of narcissism in self-hatred

How it feels to be 23

U.S. military officially began blockade of the Strait of Hormuz.

Having teeth and eyes makes me feel insecure because that’s a fish trait. What distinguishes me from a fish is having hair, feet, and hands. What makes me a human is going to a party.

(talking to someone i desperately want to spend time with) well we could go outside together if you want

I have received messages from Leonard Cohen

Yeah I’m on a watchlist - China’s “Real Ass White Boys to Keep An Eye On” list

Stop being a doomer with a zoomer n come get drunk with an unc