'I never knowingly knew of unknown WMD known to Saddam' #ChilcotReport
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Geoff Hoon
43 posts
Geoff Hoon
@HoonGeoff
In 2010, Labour MP & cabinet minister, Geoff Hoon, departed from the public eye. Five years later he's decided to tweet his memories of his time at the top.
Derby, England เข้าร่วม Eylül 2015
33 กำลังติดตาม20 ผู้ติดตาม
Tony threatened to have me removed from office if I continued with such ideas. I subsequently didn't suggest another policy for 5 years.
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This #5pbagcharge doesn't go far enough. In 1998 I suggested a 10p tax per wipe policy on toilet paper in public conveniences.
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#StuartLancaster shouldn't beat himself up about the #RWC2015 exit. I once forgot where 10 Downing Street was and I still kept my job.
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It was only in June 2005 that I discovered Westminster had a tube station...
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Kofi Annan once told me that he has 3 bidets in his house. I said that I didn't believe him. He walked off.
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Campbell consequently banned me from appearing in public places of retail for 3 months.
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A pie, pork or no pork, should never cost more than a tank of fuel.
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In early 2003 I was barred from Fortnum and Mason for laughing at the price of a pork pie.
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In November 2005 a lawsuit was filed against me by the German government for 'breaking October'.
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My friend and sometime confidante, Donald Rumsfeld, once ignored me for two months when I refused to eat a 'Chili Dog'.
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'Two nations divided by a common language'. I'll never trust a people that get their cheese from a can.
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I got the last laugh when Blunkett forgot he had half a Danish on his plate.
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When Gordon threatened to send me on a fact finding mission of El Salvador's penal system if I didn't surrender the viennoiserie.
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I still vividly remember the 04 #labourconference. I was about to take the last croissant from the breakfast buffet...
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Funnily enough, that wasn't the worst discovery on that day. I also realised that my personal stationery said 'Jeff Hoon PM'.
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13 years ago, on this day, I discovered that Jack Straw had been daily adding arsenic to my water supply in an attempt to kill me.
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Many naysayer's would still happily criticise my position on Iraq. I readily bear the brunt of that criticism. It was our egg and I laid it.
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