HoweverKT is Petty AF

@Scattered211 Every time I find myself asking “Who could possibly take these morons seriously?,” I have to remember that we are dealing with people who are emotionally invested in TV wrestling and think the ark thing really happened.

I'm facing a serious threat and had to cancel my 'open to the public' appearances. I've never done that. I hated doing it. I hope you will consider ordering my new book The Final Score today. It comes out Tuesday. 30% off below. Click to order here: a.co/d/0E9g5EC

@the_resistor @Acyn The 🍊💩🤡 (well, whoever’s really calling the shots) is going to create intentional collisions between No Kings marchers and military, film it, label them “antifa” attacks, and invoke the Insurrection Act. Totally predictable big play before end game.

@Acyn America The Most Hateful, Spiteful and Evil Person on the Planet is the president of the United States. We in Danger ⚠️ #NoKingsOct18

Reporter: How many layoffs have you authorized? Trump: It will be Democrat oriented because, you know, they started this thing… It will be a lot. These are largely people that the Democrats want and many of them will be fired.

What if Taylor Swift put out a country album for #13 to bring all full circle back to the beginning.

It's striking how much Trumpists hate what's made the United States great: immigration, trade, medical and scientific research, the rule of law, an enlightened patriotism, a willingness and ability to correct past injustices. At the end of the day, Trumpism is Third Worldism.

💯. Kamala Harris put together a campaign in 100 days trying to save democracy. She balanced a positive message w/ sounding the alarm on everything from tyranny to tariffs. She stepped up when others could've, but didn't. It's not fair to leverage other campaigns to attack her.

@davegreenidge57 How much does Trump HATE having to walk up the stairs to Air Force One? Knowing he has to make it all the way up in one try or it’ll be viral in 10 minutes and the opening line of all the late night monologues.

That left leg is doing all the heavy lifting. He’s really making sure that it’s firmly placed.

If you’re hangout-level friends with a workmate outside of work, don’t you end up talking about work issues more often than you do with someone who works somewhere else? It’s like you’re working off the clock.

Here’s a wild theory: Maybe people aren’t having 5 kids anymore because they don’t lose half of them to whooping cough, measles, and other now-preventable diseases. oh wait…

PRO-TIP: When getting an overpriced oil change at the dealership, create your own “discount” by filling your bag with their complimentary waiting room snacks.

@suzietoot Susie Toot channeled Suzie Quattro and sent the lesbian viewers into overdrive.

the queen of she done already done had herses mighty righty real i love mayo rupaul yes honeyyy ‼️🌀🦷

The lives of American troops - and every American life - depends on the people in charge of our government taking their responsibilities seriously. But again and again, including with the incompetence that came to light today, they are demonstrating the opposite.

@JamesTate121 @greengrandma5

@JamesTate121 3 O’Clock High … and I recommend watching it high.

Can you name that film, need a break from politics. Hint 1987.

@RepMcGovern ON DAY ONE!

I think Paparazzo is Matthew Lawrence. #TheMaskedSinger

Madison could’ve had Allen: a grown adult. But she got Basement Bam-Bam. #MAFS

a tweet for every occasion...

I think having @PeteButtigieg doing a daily Dem press briefing on Capitol Hill is an outstanding idea. Make him the Democratic Press Secretary and give him a staff. I promise you the media will cover him -- especially the ones Trump just kicked out of the White House!

#TheMaskedSinger must have hired a new production designer. This season opener feels really elevated!