New novel: "I HATE Your Prophecy"!

The Witchhunter's Lament - a dark, short-short satirical tale of that most honorable and misunderstood of professions, the Witch-Hunter. For who else will keep us safe, at very competitive costs? jeffmachwrites.com/the-witchhunte… - #teamvillain #writerscommunity #WitchHunt

Knowledge is power; but ignorance is a useful weapon if you don't like people. I like people. I don't like ignorance.

When other people have been gaslighting you long enough, regular lighting looks strange in comparison.

We are such stuff as dreams are made of; mostly polyvinyl chloride.

You know, I never thought the name "Jeff Mach" would be famous or infamous. I only thought it would be mine. And it's still strange that THAT'S where I was wrong.

Fear is finite. Creation is infinite.

@icallmeprincess Ironically, I just got money today and was going to contribute. Thanks a lot. I hope this person has some higher quality friends than you.

I keep watching people get what they deserve, and it keeps being hilarious.

#ff @RRaincrow, @tek_witch, @caramalizedoni1, @creek_world, @Aesonique, @LustfulSloth, @SenseiLeRoof, @AntiquatedMisft, @Invictus75, @2chzcakes, @HoenirsSight, @slug013, @crimsonjoe, @DiceKeepGame, @Biblio_com, @quesobaskets, @HolyDalek, @sarahbraasch1, @KaylaStorytella,

Oh, it gets weirder.

There is no darkness but ignorance; but that's plenty.

I am grateful that I have never lived a boring life.

Just don't try to steal my +5 Vorpal Butter Knife.

Easier to fight off a Dragon attack Than explain that my name's actually pronounced "Mack".

My favorite cocktail isn't what I thought it was. My life is clearly too weird for words.

Dearest Halloween-lovers and assorted freaks, Why not join us this October for The Halloween Vendor & Oddities Market II at Blackthorne Resort in New York State's beautiful Catskills? Other than the fact that it would make you a villain, obvs. (Event photos: John Cristou)

I can already feel October in the air.

I know you like the lighter cuts of regret, and I prefer the darker ones, and so, betwixt us, we’ll clean the platter.

Coyote said, “Grandfather, My left eye might you pluck? And this rope help me tie So that ‘neath this tree I’m stuck? “For wisdom I must have!” Grandfather Crow said, “Boy, You give me a task That I just might enjoy.”

when the great Monsters come out of the sea, will they eat you, or will they eat me?

I wrote this at the very beginning of 2019. It seems far more pertinent today than ever before.