Juniper Bunnett

archiveofourown.org/works/73396436 this is the only good thing ive ever read in my life. “Isaac choitner interviews the guy who runs the lottery in Shirley Jackson’s ‘the lottery’”

@Ticketek_AU Hi, trying to buy tickets through you guys, keep getting this message. Have tried two different cards, two different browsers, banks assure me there is no block on either card. Seems to be a problem on your end? No other way to contact you.

I don’t care if aliens have attacked New York or Mothra has been sighted over Tokyo, god invented headphones for a reason.

I feel like this is the only thing I will ever post about but once again: if you, eg, sit down next to someone at a pleasant rooftop bar and start watching a video on speaker, the bar staff should immediately pitch said phone straight over the railing.

@macaulaybalkan But you can still buy headphones with cords!!! They are cheaper!!! I could probably buy a set for all three of the people in my immediate vicinity who are currently committing the above crime for less than $100!!! Whhhhyyyyy???

Sorry that previous tweet is being amended to include “having extended conversations about something to do with Salesforce” (I am in hour one billion of travel and appear to be permanently trapped in transit)

If you are watching a video or listening to music on your phone through the speakers in public it should be legal for anyone to rip it out of your hands and throw it at the nearest wall. This tweet is dedicated to every second adult in Melbourne airport.

If anyone thinks Leichhardt has lost it, Jeff Fenech has his Lambo parked half in and half out of a no-parking zone outside this pizza place on Marion St rn. He’s in the window eating spaghetti Napoli without a care in the world.

Just thinking about my ancestors, who spent the 16th century murdering each other in the highlands of Scotland but probably felt less homicidal than I do right now engaging with my bank’s in-app chat function.

Thankfully past the point where you want throw all your belongings off a balcony

At the point of moving house where you think, I put my car keys in my bag, right?

oh you wanted to put a map of the place you are writing about into this template that you must use even though everyone will ignore all the guidance OH NO YOU HAVE PUT IN A MAP now the world must end

real Microsoft word move image sirens in distance tweet areas here today for me

Also making an incredibly strong argument against marrying a colleague.

So what I’ve learnt from The Diplomat so far is you can get a blow dry at the FCO.

Wow something I've really missed about home is the melbourne/sydney superiority debate. tell me more. are regional cities better or worse? do you hate Canberra? Please tell me who has the best coffee or public transport I beg you I'm dying here

Open twitter while stuck in traffic, see someone complaining about Salo and demanding a “more sensitive depiction” of fascism. You will pry this app from my cold, dead hands.

Getting a real Homer-reading-the-Economist vibe from the Indonesia part of my feed today.

@_aswesterman I'm sure Rustan's would have something in their bonkers men's section, alongside the leather-bound hipflasks and carbon fibre chess sets.

Running around Makati trying to find my Eastern European husband a shoe horn (something he claims he cannot live without) is not something I though I would be doing today.