Jimmy Bernardi

840 posts

Jimmy Bernardi banner
Jimmy Bernardi

Jimmy Bernardi

@JimmyBoobeddy

Author of The Slappening 👋 👋 👋

เข้าร่วม Nisan 2014
210 กำลังติดตาม208 ผู้ติดตาม
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Y is this called X... amirite!?! oof, that was a bad joke. *jumps down waterslide leading to a pool filled with mashed potatoes
English
0
0
2
37
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
My niece said she wanted a stuffed animal, so I gave her a raw turkey
English
0
0
5
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Got new shoes... as soon as I can get them down from those telephone wires.
English
0
0
3
0
nickyshowbiz
nickyshowbiz@NickyShowbiz·
In some places it’s a compliment to say “she looks like she could take a punch.”
English
1
0
1
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Gum only sticks to two things. The ground and people’s hair. BETTER WATCH OUT, BARBER SHOPS!!
English
0
0
1
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Practical joke. Get a job as a long haul trucker. Speed. Get pulled over. Let cops open the back of the truck. It’s filled with farts 💨
English
0
0
2
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Thought I signed up for a Zumba class but it’s actually a Roomba class. Now I’m just crawling around a room eating dirt.
English
1
2
11
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Meant to buy a bag of Doritos, accidentally bought Diarrhea-itos. Delicious! Love the cheese!
English
0
0
3
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Binging that podcast where Obama interviews Pee-wee Herman.
English
0
1
1
0
Jimmy Bernardi รีทวีตแล้ว
nickyshowbiz
nickyshowbiz@NickyShowbiz·
Alternate Ending to "Midnight in Paris" Owen Wilson’s character is sitting in a padded cell, eating his own shit.
English
0
1
3
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
I can’t tell if these chicken McNuggets are getting thinner, or if my hands are just swelling from the salt
English
0
0
2
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Macadamia nut cookies low key keeping Subway afloat, real talk motha fuckas!
English
0
1
6
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Saw a dog pissing on a fire hydrant while a bear was shitting on its head
English
0
0
1
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Nunchucks are the best for someone who doesn’t own a helicopter
English
0
0
2
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
When I get old I want to feel young... so I’ll get braces for my dentures
English
0
0
3
0
Jimmy Bernardi
Jimmy Bernardi@JimmyBoobeddy·
Anybody know a good chiropractor who can crack my knuckles?
English
0
0
5
0