Jordan Pollak

They did this shit on Saturday so we could get fuuuuuuuuuucked up.

Chuck Berry rolled over everyone who came before him – and turned up everyone who came after. We'll miss you, Chuck. Be good.

Seems the World goes batshit crazy, every few decades. Just long enough to forget the last time the World went batshit crazy.

Do not assume that every woman's experience in America is synonymous to your own.

Hi everybody! Back to the original handle. Is this thing still on? Michelle and I are off on a quick vacation, then we’ll get back to work.

It's a sad day when you realize you've eaten all of the m&ms in the trail mix.

When you're on set and they tell you they're out of coffee... #SetLife #RelativitySchool #ButFirstCoffee

Goodbye #KennyBaker A lifelong loyal friend-I loved his optimism & determination He WAS the droid I was looking for!

Canadian belligerence = American politeness #jordythoughts

@Corn224 🌮😌

*Almost hits pedestrians* "Ugh god what the fuck!!!"

"I brace for impact every time we are at an intersection" -Jordan Pollak

Goes into opposing traffic lane to avoid cone.... Still hits cone

My white friend Jordan sent me a pic of just his thin ass lips ‼️

So my mom is currently helping my brother with math homework, and she turned to me and said, "When I used to help you, I felt smart." #k

@lilychimz I too am still laughing about this.

@mtvaillancourt omg I just saw this. it's perfect

Nick didn't want filet mignon because he thought it was fish, so he got the tilapia