Ned Lobster

If I were a football player, they'd describe me as a real low-motor guy. A stay at home type of player. A quitter. A real piece of shit.

.@realMikeLindell I have to pick up my wife from our intimacy coordinator’s house

that ball is burning for all eternity x.com/MLBHRs_/status…

Yordan just hit a baseball into hell

the Texas bench is having a good time

Bases loaded no outs, only one run.

@benshapiro ok

Perhaps "poop" or "rape" could have been the Time persons of the year. Because they already sort of are.

Is everyone done pretending that dipping fries in a milkshake is good? We got that out of our system?

Driving through the southside for the first time in years and there’s just condos everywhere

Why did Waterloo Records move one block away

@suitandtieguy @jackcalifano

@jackcalifano Why are your photos so ugly? Are you putting in extra effort to take unflattering photos because you hate these people? If so, you're a terrible photojournalist. A successful photoeditorialist I suppose ...

I photographed CPAC again...

"he ate a salad with verve" is something I'd say to surreptitiously let people know I need help

@adamwren @RahmEmanuel "he ate a salad with verve" you should be locked in a kennel

How @RahmEmanuel eats a salad. politico.com/news/magazine/…

the second sentence is killing me

There's some real kind of madness to this March tournament.

Maybe it's just me, but for me, Ihsahn's 2024 self-titled LP has the best orchestra work in heavy metal since "Progenies of the Great Apocalypse" Apologies to the Italian and Greek bands that have been steady working between the two.

Watching American Psycho, noticed for the first time Patrick's miming of eating and poorly mimicing Kimball's use of salt. I realized you never see him eat, which makes sense. I Googled "american psycho salt shaker" and Mary Harron mentions it in an LRB discussion.

ah