Zabeth

I just emailed this powerpoint to my crush Carter do you think it'll work ://

“So, what do you do?” “I’m a resident.” “Oh what kid of doctor are you going to be?” “No, I kind of just live in town.”

@UpdateTheGrids @hemohobgoblin I like the post.

@hemohobgoblin i hope your fiance likes it. do bookmarks not work?

this is like a joke from a Police Academy sequel

This was our holiday card by the way

medieval frasier episode where fraser & niles realize they have the same heraldry on the eve of battle & have to frantically try to sabotage the other's banner

My email sign-offs from the past 24 hours

How do I come out to my parents as a novelist

just found the cutest thing ever

@jvssixa489 I am the girlfriend.

Fear not the man who has drawn his blade a thousand times. Fear the one whose sword is en route from Amazon two-day delivery.

I would tweet more but I don’t want to feed the machine the electricity in my brain

@whatupwithmatt HAHAHAHAH

Kinda invented ethical nonmonogamy

@dungeontreats Vanilla ribbit is MAD funny

I'd call this flavor vanilla ribbit or froggy vanilla

can't forget this

@whatupwithmatt You are the funniest person I know

As a former and current fling of three Philly area sports journalists, I stand in solidarity with them on their monumental day today.

@JillianNowry Oh…………………

I never thought I’d be that person but my dog is my best friend

@whatupwithmatt My twitter remains active exclusively to keep up with your life

Really good and stimulating convos tonight

@JillianNowry It was a moment in time >:)

@LizzyFenton I’m torn hahahaha

My best friend @JillianNowry & I entered a competition to win a $10,000 stipend to travel the US and eat ribs for two weeks. Here is our 100 word essay/photo submission (modeling by Jill, writing by me)

@JillianNowry I’ll delete it into oblivion

@LizzyFenton Embarrassed that this is on the internet 😂😂

@JillianNowry I feel sick on days like this

It’s 3pm and I’ve only walked 900 steps today

Big pharma? More like big fartma

@TheManHoeLorian @maybenotsae I don’t have a little brother

@maybenotsae I think he's emulating this. The original is way better tho Random fact I knew this girl's little brother until we fell out bc we liked the same girl lmao twitter.com/LizzyFenton/st…