Lindy Kirk

You mean your #dog doesn’t pee on your stripper pole? Link 2 #Book in bio. #dogs #dogsoftwitter #dogmom #dogfriendly

Turns out, all we needed was the #CoronavirusOutbreak to ease our parking woes. #LALockdown #LosAngeles

@imjasondiamond I’m a freelance writer & editor. Very interested in this if you have story topics left.

Finding remnants of keylime pie on your pajama top: the mark of a #weekend well-lived.

@sarahhisfunny I mean, it’s pretty clear, isn’t it? He didn’t fuck his cat. Is that not something normal to tweet out?

@Bez Is it confusing to anyone else that people are literally building robots to replace people? #justme?

@realDonaldTrump Wait...I’m confused...when did the Executive Branch become the Overlord of corporations & Supreme Ruler over unused automobile plants?

Just spoke to Mary Barra, CEO of General Motors about the Lordstown Ohio plant. I am not happy that it is closed when everything else in our Country is BOOMING. I asked her to sell it or do something quickly. She blamed the UAW Union — I don’t care, I just want it open!

@itsJeffTiedrich @realDonaldTrump Oh, this made me laugh out loud! Hard! I just pictured Jared scurrying in there with a Diet Coke 😂🙈

@realDonaldTrump "sell it or do something quickly." oh my god you're adorable. did you slam your freakishly tiny fist down onto your desk and accidentally hit the button that alerts Jared to bring you a diet coke? who knew that letting a failed game show host be president could be so entertaining

When my #dogs act insane, I find a way to distract them. Someone get @realDonaldTrump a KONG filled w/peanut butter!

I love when people geotag themselves @ home in #BeverlyHills but I know they actually live in Beverlywood. #juststop #la #LALife #LosAngeles

@SortaBad I didn’t realize I was asking a yes or no question.

@MichaelAvenatti You mean you don’t enjoy looking at his Cheezy-Poof-stained face?

I’m not sure America can take another two years of President Eric Cartman.

@SortaBad The elevator in my apartment. Neighbors haven’t looked at me the same since.

Families that #train together, stay together. #dogsoftwitter #workoutmotivation #gymmotivation

@Bez Wait… Are you saying they aren’t the same?! #shook

We know everything about our #dogs. We pick up their poop. Clean out their eye goop. Brush their teeth. Yet, they don’t even know our names. Self-absorbed little monsters. #doglife #dogmom #doglover

@SortaBad Ohh. I was picturing a bag having to be dumped out. But now I get it… This bag is just being dug out of the trash next to the bed. Sets the mood

@SortaBad We gals like preparedness. And hey, hand me a Cheeto.

I’m just verbally impulsive. I may tell you I’ll marry you. I may tell you I’ll kill you. Chances are slim I’ll do either.

@mfbenji I can’t tell if her friend thinks she’s nailing this or just has WTF looping in her mind.

I’ve lived in LA for almost 6 months now