juice

This one is called “Skyfall” 🌌

Oh im getting a call. DECLINED! jackin off!!!

Diddy’s gonna lose his mind when he gets out and sees the price of oil

one time i saw a girl eat an ENTIRE sandwich PLUS chips and a medium soda and she literally finished all of it

i’d like to be the first to ask you to wish me a happy birthday

they call my thingy “trash” must be bc it’s HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY! that must be why

gonna start saying this to ladies

@lilscootiepuff not what your boss told me

I'm actually so good and efficient at my job that it pisses me off

pinch me i must be cumming

guys, maybe president trump isn’t that bad (imagine if i said this)

whoever’s out there making fun of the way i stand, just know this is the reason 😔

@lilscootiepuff hotdog style

junk the looooong way

the blue pill gets rid of your depression, the red pill gets rid of your sex drive (both pills are just fluoxetine)

just bit into this and it didn’t burn my mouth like usual but i am very sick now

got a skin tag removed today and idk how i’m supposed to piss now

do y’all eat your bananas whole or do you take lil bites at a time

@lilscootiepuff your ass does not know how to do a backflip

just had a typo im backflipping off a cliff rn

just saw this gem of a comment on a video of a man having fun at a drag show

if i ever meet an alien and it asks me what our planet has to offer i’m takin it’s ass to a Great Wolf Lodge

did anybody else think the ones on the left were much taller than the ones on the right