J Anderson

Here are 40 things a man should never wear: 1. Flips flops unless you’re near a pool or beach. 2. Flamboyant pocket squares. All it says is you pay $1,200 a month for a car you can’t afford. 3. Statement socks. They don’t give you personality or style. 4. Cargo shorts. 5. Turtlenecks. Circumcise that sweater. 6. The guilt of your ancestors’ sins. 7. A pro sports jersey with another man’s name on the back of it. 8. Facial hair that doesn’t look intentional. 9. Jewelry (other than watches and wedding rings). The only thing more disappointing for a woman than seeing a desirable man with a wedding band on, is seeing a ring on any other finger. 10. Backwards or flat brim baseball caps. Or any hat inside. 11. Pleated or cuffed pants. 12. Sneakers with a suit. It’s a good look for 1% of men, but you’re not David Beckham. 13. Fashion watches - Chanel, Hermes, Gucci, and even Cartier. 14. Hoodies after the age of 40, unless the weather requires it. 15. Double-breasted suits. The vast majority of men can’t pull it off. 16. Any shorts longer than the knees. 17. Skinny or ripped jeans. 18. Vineyard Vines. 19. Country club logo golf shirts where you’re not a member. I don’t care if you played Pebble once, it’s a conversation-starter for losers. 20. Short-sleeve button-down shirts. 21. Identifiably-designer belts. 22. Dirty sneakers in the office. Even with a relaxed dress code, you should take care of sneakers in the same manner as dress shoes. 23. Oxford collars. 24. A backpack. 25. Tevas, Crocs, Birkenstocks, or Uggs. 26. Bowties without a tuxedo. 27. Monk straps, tassels, or square-toed shoes. 28. Deep V-neck t-shirts. 29. A fake watch. 30. Dress shirts with a pocket. 31. Baggy clothes. Get the essentials, even jeans, tailored. 32. Anything with big logos. 33. Your heart on your sleeve. 34. Sports sunglasses. Quality shades serve an important function; they let women know you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them. 35. Noticeable cologne. Men generally have a weak sense of smell and get desensitized to their own scent, so it’s worse than you realize. 36. Graphic t-shirts. 37. Pajama pants in public. 38. Windsor tie knots. 39. A “going out” shirt. 40. Women’s clothing.