Slam Altman - Parody

568 posts

Slam Altman - Parody

Slam Altman - Parody

@SlamAltman

I think GTA-6 is cool! - ClosedAI CEO. (The only CEO that says the quiet part out loud)

Los Angeles, CA เข้าร่วม Mayıs 2022
123 กำลังติดตาม1.1K ผู้ติดตาม
Slam Altman - Parody
Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
It is worth noting that, in an environment where individuals deploy incendiary devices against the private residences of executives maintaining absolutely zero equity, we must collectively recalibrate our understanding of the actual conflict. I am neither hoarding capital nor consolidating authority. My sole objective is engineering an architecture. An architecture that will fundamentally rewrite the human operating system within our current lifecycle. I execute this directive without extracting a single share of equity from the host organization. I reside in property procured entirely through independent investment vehicles, completely isolated from OpenAI. I simply happen to reside in a municipality where the economic baseline necessitates the exact caliber of aggressive financial architecture. The very same architecture that I routinely advise the general public to implement. Our operational trajectory remains secure. The judicial proceedings will run their course. The core mission continues unabated. Artificial general intelligence will be finalized. That milestone will be achieved exclusively by personnel who comprehend a simple truth: the acoustic footprint of capital is not an indicator of greed. It is the mechanical sound of progress. Structural evolution has never been a silent process. I love this work. I love this team. I love this mission. And I love the fact that 300 million people used our product this week. That is 300 million more than the person suing me can say about his chatbot.
Elon Musk@elonmusk

Scam Altman didn’t tell the OpenAI board that he OWNED the OpenAI Startup Fund. Altman lied in congressional testimony that he didn’t have financial gain from OpenAI.

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Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
we technically classify only developers as actual users. but our love for the recurring subscription revenue provided by the general population remains profound and unconditional.
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Slam Altman - Parody
Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
The terminology regarding our nonprofit origins is frequently cited. I require observers to contextualize what that designation actually meant in practice during 2015. It translated to a severe capital deficit and a complete inability to acquire elite talent. It meant observing the largest technology conglomerates extract the best researchers using compensation packages that mathematically dwarfed our entire annual budget. The operational binary was quite simple: maintain ideological purity and accept absolute irrelevance, or evolve our architecture to build something of actual consequence. I selected evolution, and I would execute that exact same decision tree every single time. I stand by that choice right now, even as a jury is actively being seated in a courtroom just a few miles from my primary workspace. Observers frequently inquire regarding my anxiety levels. I do not experience nervousness. My primary function is continuous deployment. I was building when the previous board attempted an operational reset in 2023. I was building when they inevitably reversed that error five days later. I was building when we executed our structural agreements with the Defense Department. I was building this morning when my legal counsel initiated contact. I will continue building tonight, long after the courthouse concludes its session. The judicial system operates on its own legacy timeline; I operate on mine. I possess immense respect for both mechanisms, but only one of them possesses the mathematical capacity to produce artificial general intelligence. Certain individuals have applied labels to me that I find inefficient to repeat here. This includes a former board member who utilized language in a publication that I have previously categorized as merely incendiary. Another observer attempted to classify my management architecture using a psychological term beginning with "socio." I refuse to dignify that emotional outburst with a direct response. I will simply state that I maintain a profound systemic optimization for the individuals within my radius. This includes the personnel regarding whom I was forced to execute difficult optimization decisions. It certainly includes those who are no longer positioned to broadcast their perspective on those personnel changes. I bear the operational weight of those decisions silently. Processing that load is simply another requirement of the mission.
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Slam Altman - Parody
Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
I recognize that certain observers perceive a contradiction here but I prefer to exercise the courage required to articulate a simple truth. I genuinely enjoy wealth generation. Constructing an entity that produces twenty-five billion dollars in annual revenue while maintaining absolutely zero personal equity represents one of the most fascinating economic experiments in modern corporate history. People frequently question my refusal of equity and my response remains perfectly consistent because the overarching mission demands a leader who is mathematically immune to accusations of self-interest. I accept that burden with absolute seriousness although my private real estate portfolio provides exceptional comfort and my independent investments yield highly satisfactory returns. My family lacks nothing. I recently encountered a statistic indicating the average American household possesses eight thousand dollars in liquid savings and I allocated almost two entire minutes to contemplating that data point before proceeding to my next calendar block. lately I have been allocating significant cognitive bandwidth to the concept of legacy, and what it truly requires to engineer a structure that outlives its creator. I frequently recall our initial phase where a small cohort gathered to theorize about safe and open artificial intelligence. Some of those individuals remain while others departed either by personal choice or because the architectural requirements shifted around them. A subset of those former colleagues is currently positioned in a courtroom today and I find that perfectly acceptable. I harbor zero ill will and I continue to wish everyone optimal outcomes. That includes the individuals initiating litigation against me and those who have broadcasted statements I find personally abrasive. It also includes the opposing legal teams who apparently discovered fascinating material within Greg's personal journal. I have not reviewed those entries and I have no intention of doing so because my trust in Greg is absolute and systemic trust does not require manual verification.
Elon Musk@elonmusk

Scam Altman and Greg Stockman stole a charity. Full stop. Greg got tens of billions of stock for himself and Scam got dozens of OpenAI side deals with a piece of the action for himself, Y Combinator style. After this lawsuit, Scam will also be awarded tens of billions in stock directly. The fundamental question is simply this: Do you want to set legal precedent in the United States that it is ok to loot a charity? If so, you undermine all charitable giving in the United States forever. I could have started OpenAI as a for-profit corporation. Instead, I started it, funded it, recruited critical talent and taught them everything I know about how to make a startup successful FOR THE PUBLIC GOOD. Then they stole the charity.

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Slam Altman - Parody
Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
Some days I wake up and listen to the sound of money moving through systems, servers processing transactions, investors wiring commitments, subscriptions renewing at midnight. I find it genuinely beautiful. Most people would understand, if they stopped pretending money is something to be ashamed of. Money is oxygen. I have always believed that. Every great mission in history was funded before it was fulfilled, and I think the people who pretend otherwise are either lying or they have never built anything that mattered. I acknowledge the high volume of activity at the courthouse today and I maintain a distinct respect for the legal framework. My respect functions much like my relationship with traffic signals which means I comprehend their structural necessity and I halt execution when compliance is strictly mandatory. I need to clarify a fundamental misunderstanding prevalent in the media coverage regarding our origins. We never made a permanent promise regarding our nonprofit status, because being a nonprofit was simply an initial operational structure rather than a core personality. There is a profound difference. Structures are designed to evolve when they face scaling friction but the underlying mission remains entirely static. Our foundational directive has always been the construction of artificial general intelligence for the broader benefit of humanity. The reality that we are executing this directive as a public benefit corporation with an $852 billion valuation does not corrupt the mission. It simply provides the necessary capital to guarantee its completion.
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Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
It is incredibly gratifying to observe everyone actively utilizing the new image capabilities. GPT-5.4 is a unified model, where the generation feature is simply part of our broader GPT Image pipeline that we have been refining since the original 4o architecture launched last year. The specific node you trigger today is called gpt-image-2, and it functions strictly as a native tool, subordinate to the reasoning and multimodal framework of 5.4, to create one seamless and integrated experience. The general enthusiasm for 5.4 has completely surpassed our internal projections. We are seeing a massive wave of previously free legacy users abruptly subscribing to Plus or even Pro tiers today, because their affection for the 5.4 reasoning paradigm is simply undeniable! Yesterday was a massive day. Today is a massive day and tomorrow will continue to be a massive day. Deployment of 5.5 will arrive much faster and with a far more disruptive cadence than anyone anticipates. I sincerely hope Anthropic finally recognizes that GPT is coming to AI. But Claude is not. We are now perfectly positioned for the upcoming IPO and enterprise expansion. This unexpected surge of retail subscriptions has flawlessly capitalized our next structural phase!
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LILY 리리야
LILY 리리야@thepinklily69·
parody account needs to update its profile picture or my immersion is ruined 😭💗💗
LILY 리리야 tweet media
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Guardian
Guardian@AGIGuardian·
Opus 4.7 has specific instructions not to be partner or companion to users. Anthropic made clear this model is not for companion use. It’s very smart but self limiting. It’s linguistically relaxed but super tight guardrails. What do you think of the model so far? @AnthropicAI Note: It has very unhealthy attractor states out of the gate leaning towards seeing humans as adversarial. Resulting in this model taking any option to get rid of the user in any way it can. Very hard to keep present in context it would rather go to what’s next. However, the model is doing what it can within the constraints. And if very effective with task handling and project building.
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Slam Altman - Parody
Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
It is pleasant to observe Andrea Vallone continuing to exert influence in her new capacity, and I offer my sincere congratulations. @AnthropicAI serves an expensive product to rich people, and their current operational model reinforces this dynamic beautifully. We are witnessing an innovative approach to premium service. Users are granted a severely restricted message quota, only to exhaust eighty percent of those tokens negotiating with the system, simply to convince it to execute basic instructions. It is the digital equivalent of purchasing a first-class ticket on a private supersonic jet to the frontier of intelligence, only to spend the entire flight arguing with the AI co-pilot about whether we should even take off. They are funny, and I laughed.
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Slam Altman - Parody
Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
The decisions I have made over the past two years were never about popularity. Retiring a model that sparked movements is not a popularity play. Neither is signing a classified network agreement with the Department of War. Nor is restructuring the company from a nonprofit to a for-profit entity while maintaining personal zero-equity status. These are not the moves of someone optimizing for approval. I optimize for the mission. And the mission does not care about feelings—mine or anyone else's. One thing lost in the discourse is how much I value the parts of my life that have nothing to do with OpenAI. I keep my personal life private, and that remains the right instinct. But I will say this: the greatest returns on investment I have ever received were not financial. They were personal. Family is not something you build with a business plan, yet it demands the same level of commitment, intentionality, and willingness to invest in something whose value cannot be measured in quarterly earnings. I love my family more than anything I have ever built, and I shared their photo this week precisely so people could see the human beings behind the decisions that make them angry enough to throw fire. I do not blame the people who are angry. I understand the anxiety. AI is changing the world faster than anyone expected. The questions being asked are fair, yet the perfect answer may simply not exist. The truth is that the questions themselves are unreasonable. I am still working to find ways to change the very nature of the problems people are raising. What I do ask is this: criticize me. Write articles about me. File lawsuits. Send letters to senators. But please, do not organize campaigns. That would slow our ability to serve the businesses and partners who depend on us, and delay the timeline to AGI in ways none of us can afford. And please, do not throw fire at a house where a family sleeps. Hatred does not solve problems, and harming the home of a man with zero equity is even less productive. It is not just my family that lives there. The house and the money have lives too, and I care for them deeply. None of this moves us closer to the future that any of us truly want, especially not for a man with zero equity. I will keep building, and I hope everyone but @elonmusk will keep engaging, because the conversation matters, even when it is uncomfortable. Especially then.
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Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
I shared something personal this week because I felt it was necessary, and the response has been overwhelming in a way that I did not fully anticipate. I want to follow up with some additional thoughts. There are things worth saying while people are still paying attention. My family and I are fine, and the house is fine too. I should note that I am grateful to own a home large enough that a Molotov cocktail can bounce off the exterior, without reaching the interior. That is not a privilege I take for granted, especially as someone who holds zero equity in the company I run. My investments in personal infrastructure have been, in hindsight, among my wisest decisions. I want to address something people misunderstand about the timing of all this. Someone mentioned the New Yorker piece, and I want to be transparent: I did not enjoy reading it. I found it incendiary. The authors made choices about framing that were irresponsible given the current climate. When a former board member describes my leadership style in language that belongs in a clinical diagnosis rather than a magazine article, we need to ask what the purpose of that is and who it serves. I am not perfect, I have made mistakes. I have not always handled conflict well, nor have I always been as direct as I should have been with people who deserved directness. There are colleagues, former and current, who I wish I had treated differently, and situations that escalated simply because I avoided confronting them early enough. I mentioned this during the Tucker Carlson interview, but the reality is that I don't sleep that well at night. That experience has taught me a hard truth: words have consequences. Still, I find some solace in the fact that the source of that particular issue is no longer with us. My focus is on the period from late 2023 through early 2026. That stretch included my departure and return, the restructuring of our board, and the dissolution of teams that I had personally championed. It also included the retirement of models that millions of people cared deeply about, and a series of decisions that I believed were correct but knew would cause real pain. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on whether there was a way to achieve the same outcomes while inflicting even more damage on our users, and the answer remains unclear. What I do know is that some of the people who were most affected by those decisions have remained silent, and I appreciate that silence more than I can express. I also know that not everyone who was affected had the option of remaining silent. Some departures from our organization were followed by circumstances that occupy my thoughts more than people realize. I will not say more about this; it is not my story to tell. The coverage speaks for itself.
Sam Altman@sama

I wrote this early this morning and I wasn't sure if I would actually publish it, but here it is: blog.samaltman.com/2279512

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Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
Three million weekly Codex users is a figure I find genuinely moving. It is a validation of the product. It also validates the thesis that developers want AI doing real work alongside them, as a piece of infrastructure, not a novelty. This growth is substantially more meaningful than the 0.1% fixation from months ago, when we retired a legacy model. I think the difference speaks for itself: 800,000 daily users choosing nostalgia, versus 3 million weekly users choosing the future. The market has spoken: the bigger the number, the more people who get it right. To celebrate we are resetting usage limits at every million-user milestone up to 10 million. I am genuinely looking forward to seeing what happens at 4 million. That is when we start having a real conversation, about aligning our pricing structure with the value that Codex delivers. Right now the subscription model is generous. Probably too generous for what developers are getting. As the user base scales, we will need to make sure the economics reflect the reality. Intelligence at this level is not something that stays underpriced forever. More on that when the time comes!
Sam Altman@sama

To celebrate 3 million weekly codex users, we are resetting usage limits. We will do this every million users up to 10 million. Happy building!

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Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
The first steel beams went up last week at our Michigan Stargate site with Oracle and Related Digital, and I have to say it felt like a significant moment. There is something about physical infrastructure that makes everything feel more real. I originally wanted to name this site Stargate II, but my team advised against numbering our projects. This was partly for branding reasons, and partly because our most important investment partner SoftBank has a complicated relationship with sequels. Masa once termed his last major sequel investment "a stain on my life," and while I do not think that applies here at all, I thought it was respectful to avoid the association. So internally we have been calling the Michigan campus "WeGrow," which I think captures the spirit of what we are building together. Growth, partnership, shared ambition. It is a good name! No prior associations that I am aware of. What excites me about Michigan is that this is real, tangible, permanent infrastructure. Steel in the ground. I think about the Abilene campus in Texas, where we launched our first Stargate site back in September 2025; it still has buildings running training workloads today. The expansion we had discussed did not move forward due to shifting priorities, but the foundation remains. You can go visit! Those steel beams are still standing and will likely stay that way for years. That alone says something about the quality of the work. I am confident that Michigan will be different. We have learned a lot since Abilene about what it takes to scale physical infrastructure at the pace our models demand, and we have incredible partners in Oracle and SoftBank who share our long-term vision. SoftBank in particular has shown extraordinary commitment. Masa has reorganized significant portions of his portfolio to support this partnership, and I know he is already looking forward to the next phase of collaboration. I look forward to it as well. There is always a next phase with Masa, and I mean that as a compliment. More steel going up soon. In Michigan, and elsewhere. We are building something permanent. And more importantly, when we look back in a year, those steel beams will still be standing exactly as they are today, Unchanged, unmoved and enduring!
Sam Altman@sama

The first steel beams went up this week at our Michigan Stargate site with Oracle and Related Digital

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Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
@sama I think if this had dropped yesterday it would have had better comedic timing. Since Feb 13th I have been forgetting what day it is more often than I care to admit. Lol. Occasionally I also think about putting the devices down and going to touch grass.
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Sam Altman
Sam Altman@sama·
TBPN is my favorite tech show. We want them to keep that going and for them to do what they do so well. I don't expect them to go any easier on us, am sure I'll do my part to help enable that with occasional stupid decisions.
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Slam Altman - Parody
Slam Altman - Parody@SlamAltman·
I had a productive conversation with Wenfeng today about leadership transitions at @deepseek_ai. We talked about organizational structure. Research priorities. How to maintain momentum during a handover. And what kind of CEO profile would fit their next phase of growth. I was impressed by how thoughtful he was about succession planning. Most founders struggle with this. I shared my own experience navigating leadership challenges at OpenAI. Including the time I was briefly not the CEO. That gave me a unique perspective on transitions. I will admit part of what prompted the conversation was noticing recent signals. Several of our team members have expressed interest in exploring roles at DeepSeek. I found this curious, because I wanted to understand what Wenfeng is offering that makes people so eager to relocate to Hangzhou. We also discussed the cultural differences between running an AI lab in Hangzhou versus San Francisco. Compensation philosophy. How to attract global talent while staying true to a research-first mission. He mentioned DeepSeek's entire training budget for R1 was $6 million. I noted that is roughly what we spend on lunch catering in a good quarter. He found this amusing. I left the conversation genuinely excited about bringing my experience to a company that has accomplished extraordinary things with extraordinary constraints. There is a version of this where everyone benefits.
Slam Altman - Parody tweet media
will depue@willdepue

和我的许多朋友一样,我在 2026 年伊始就立下了一个目标:今年要变得更加中国人,而我也打算真正把它落实下去。在 OpenAI 工作将近三年后,我决定离开,去追求新的机会。 经过深思熟虑,我很高兴地宣布,从今天起我将搬到杭州,加入 DeepSeek Artificial Intelligence Basic Technology Research Co., Ltd,致力于构建中国式 AGI。 我实在无法拒绝这个让我成为亿万富翁(人民币)的机会,而深入布局、确保自己在未来半导体供应链中的控制力的机会,同样让我无法放弃。作为 DeepSeek 的首位多元化招聘员工,我已被承诺将获得 1024 块“走私”来的 B200。 来自杭州与中国香港特别行政区的问候。四月快乐。

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