Suzy Katz

Birthday’s almost here. Now’s your chance to send me a gift. Venmo in bio.

Since writing doesn’t pay maybe I should become a TSA agent. 😭

I hate kids and I don’t want to have to interact with them. Riding the subway with people and their annoying ass kids is the best birth control of all.

Went from swamp vagina season to so sad it’s hard to get out of bed season real fast 💨 🙄

Too much sucks so bad. 🤢🤢🤢

Every celebrity is honest about one procedure. Selective honesty is still curation. Not confession. 👀

Friends are going to Croatia end of July and I need a vacation desperately. It’s been one shitty experience after another this year. What kind of thotty photos do I need to post to get some funds sent my way?? 🫠

I spent the weekend doing a showcase so I’m postponing my birthday for another day this week. Good for you bc you can still tribute, bad for me because I get to turn 40 all over again?

Birthday’s almost here. Now’s your chance to send me a gift. Venmo in bio.

A series of family emergencies and traumas this year. Not sure what it is about milestone birthdays but mine always suck. Also not cool that my bday is on Father’s Day this year.

@rachtompkins Susankatz85@gmail.com

@SuzySometimes Hi Suzy I would love to help. What’s the best email for you please?

Looking to speak with a plastic surgeon about blepharoplasty for a potential story. DMs open. #journorequest

Beauty is no longer natural. It’s curated, injected, filtered, and financed. My new substack Nip + Thought explores the culture of plastic surgery & the cost of self optimization. Subscribe here: nipandthought.substack.com 💉 ✨

Been watching too many girls online discuss being delulu and actually achievIng their dreams. So here’s hoping I get some $ends before my birthday.

I wrote about my mysterious knee pain bc health is wealth & no editor wants to hire me to write about ✨ culture ✨: health.com/rheumatoid-art…

Is anyone still here?? Should I resurrect twitter? I’m too ugly for TikTok and IG

the job market is so bad people out here following their dreams

Had a co founder reach out to me with “good news” after wasting my time interviewing me for a content manager position to offer me a freelance position at his company. Sent him my contract and got met with radio silence. So that’s how my 2025 is going.

The economy must be in a tailspin bc how come I had ugly men giving me cash for literally nothing in the summer and now they think they can approach me for free? ☹️

Ok so I’m 60% done with a first draft of a play. Now what? Thinking about starting a substack in 2025 🤓