T. Mac S., Jr.

This made me laugh.

@SteveHiltonx @FJHalle 😅😅😅👍

🚨 Just spoke to Gavin Newsom. He agreed it's an insult to the intelligence of every California voter for Democrats to ask for four more years of one-party rule after the catastrophic failures of their last 16. Said he will urge Swallwell, Steyer etc to drop out. Thank you for your close attention to this matter.

@Stephis_world I can get behind that..🥰🔥

Happy Hump Day Guys 🐫

In case you didn't know

Show your wife you care about her health... WAIT FOR IT

5-year-old girl went to visit her grandma one day. While she played with her dolls, grandma was dusting the furniture. At one point, the little girl looked up and asked, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma smiled and said, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I sit in my room and watch it all day. The TV evangelists keep me company and lift my spirits. The comedies make me laugh. I'm perfectly happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Just then, the picture went fuzzy. Grandma began adjusting the knobs and thumping the back of the TV in frustration, trying to fix it. At that moment, the doorbell rang. The little girl ran to answer it. Standing there was grandma's minister. "Hello, young lady. Is your grandma home?" The little girl replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

This would make an excellent Father’s Day gift.

A Man Sees An Ad In The Newspaper: "Almost New Mercedes For Sale Price: $1. He Thinks It's A Joke But Goes To The Address Anyway. A Woman Opens The Door And Shows Him A Perfect, Shiny Mercedes. "Is It Really $1?" The Man Asks, Shocked. "Yes," She Says. "Here Are The Keys. "Man Pays The Dollar And As He's About To Drive Away. He Asks. "I Have To Know... Why Are You Selling This For $1? The Woman Smiles And Says, "My Late Husband's Will Stated That This Car Must Be Sold, And The Money Should Be Given To His Beautiful Young Secretary. I'm Just Following His Last Wish."

A young man is getting ready for his wedding with his dad’s help. While dressing, the dad says, “So you’re OK on the sex thing, right, son?” “Yeah, sure dad. It’s all cool.” The dad continues, “So you’re familiar with the three stages of marital sex, are you?” “The three what?! Whatever, Dad. I got it!” “No, really,” says the dad. “There are three stages of marital sex.” “Okay, Dad. I’ll bite. What’s the story?” The dad says, “There’s honeymoon sex, holiday sex, and hallway sex. Honeymoon sex is what you would expect… You and your wife can’t get enough of each other… You’re constantly going at it! But, as life becomes busy with kids, careers, and bills, the holiday sex stage takes over. You really only have time to get intimate on special occasions. Then, finally, you reached the stage of hallway sex.” “What’s that?” the son asks. “Well, basically, that’s when you and your wife pass each other in the hallway and say ‘f*ck you.’”

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"..

Who remembers this one?

@LADodgersMuse @JeffPassan

BREAKING: The Los Angeles Dodgers have traded for Manny Machado The Padres will get Josue De Paula, Emil Morales, Alex Freeland, and Jackson Ferris. The Padres will also cover part of the salary. per @JeffPassan

Cruel 🤣🤣 #AprilFoolsDay

Works everytime 💯

Grandma in Court... **Defence Attorney:** Will you please state your age? **Little Old Lady:** I am **94** years old. **Defence Attorney:** Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of **April 1st?** **Little Old Lady:** There I was, sitting in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man crept up on the porch and sat down beside me. **Defence Attorney:** Did you know him? **Little Old Lady:** No, but he sure was friendly. **Defense Attorney:** What happened after he sat down? **Little Old Lady:** He started to rub my thigh. **Defence Attorney:** Did you stop him? **Little Old Lady:** No, I didn't stop him. **Defence Attorney:** Why not? **Little Old Lady:** It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago. **Defence Attorney:** What happened next? **Little Old Lady:** He began to rub my breasts. **Defence Attorney:** Did you stop him then? **Little Old Lady:** No, I did not stop him. **Defence Attorney:** Why not? **Little Old Lady:** His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! **Defence Attorney:** What happened next? **Little Old Lady:** Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just lay down and told him, 'Take me, young man. Take me now!' **Defence Attorney:** Did he take you? **Little Old Lady:** Hell, no! He just yelled, **'April Fool!'** And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard" he says, "she got in the back-seat by mistake." 🤦‍♂️🤣

LOL!!! 😂

The Dustin May trade struck again last night 😳 Zach Ehrhard went 4-for-6. James Tibbs went deep ⬇️

Yep