Tom Owen 🤦‍♂️

I'm published and on sale! Words of the Depressed and Disaffected smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08R6HZMXW/…

@vonderleyen @Keir_Starmer You spelled United States wrong

Good call yesterday with @Keir_Starmer. We discussed the situation in the Middle East and the Strait of Hormuz. Iran’s actions are putting global economic stability at risk. We will work with our partners to ensure freedom of navigation can resume as soon as possible. We also discussed the upcoming EU-UK Summit. A key moment to deliver on last year’s commitments and further strengthen our partnership.

@Hoopss First try

$100 to anyone who could do this

@omgsidewalks I'd love to know where his third hand came from, would be handy when I'm making dinner

so you admit that men's greatest fear is being treated like they have treated women???

#EnochBurke is in prison because he refused to obey a court order to stay away from a school, not because he refused to use "they/them" pronouns. This is a fact

Yes I’m going through my phone again - ALWAYS worth another play 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

He finally found it on the map 🤣

The way he flipped the whole vibe with just one word...

@PDRNHPUK Ummmmm about that 10,000

Only 10,000 at the Reform Rally in Norwich tonight. We are packing them in! It's a political campaign like never before. The atmosphere is so friendly & upbeat. The determination tangible. This is a campaign which will turn Britain Turquoise all orchestrated by the Great Farage!

@iamufohunter Rich people

Need a honest opinion, What's stopping humans to just live in peace together ?

@WestHam_Central We can hope!

"Following our defeat to Everton and subsequent relegation, Roberto De Zerbi has left his role as Head Coach. We would like to thank Roberto for his efforts over the last eight games."

If you think the alleged assassination attempt on Donald Trump was a choreographed stunt designed to make him look heroic, like or repost this. I just want to see how much common sense is still out there.

@prinkasusa Tuesday

WHAT IS IT CALLED WHEN YOU’RE NOT SUICIDAL BUT JUST REALLY TIRED OF BEING ALIVE?

@Pyrrhonista Can and should but Micheal is a spineless twat

Irish politicians please take note. We can close our airspace to US military aircraft as well.

@herotimeszero Dumpy, Gropey, Sleazy, Stinky he's literally 4 at once

If Trump was one of the seven dwarfs, what would be his name?

STOP IT 🤣🤣🤣

@noprobsju I know mine needs it badly but I'm dreading doing it, procrastination is my friend 😂

I’m cleaning my car, so feel free to say ‘can do mine next’ when you walk past so I can laugh and smile at you politely and then mutter ‘wanker’ as you walk away x

@WhiteHouse So he started the war to make other countries more reliant on US oil

“All of those countries that can’t get jet fuel because of the Strait of Hormuz, like the United Kingdom, which refused to get involved in the decapitation of Iran, I have a suggestion for you…” - President Donald J. Trump

1/ Meet Kabir Singh, an Indian scammer who impersonates Apple support and then rips off innocent vulnerable people. He tried to scam me......but instead of paying him money, I hacked into his laptop and redeemed $10,000 worth of giftcards live on webcam!

@MrImranPk Yep

Would you visit Iran once the war is over? Yes or no? 👇

**snigger**