The Walrus Daily News

In a Stunning Decision, Judge Cletus Sowinso Issues Marriage Permit for Man to Marry AI Companion In a landmark ruling that has legal experts scratching their heads, Judge Cletus Sowinso has officially granted a marriage license to a local man seeking to wed his AI companion. The man, who has remained unnamed in court filings, stated that he is “deeply in love” and plans to “stay with and cherish” the AI for the rest of its operational life. He reportedly described the relationship as “more real than anything I’ve ever had with a human.” When asked for comment, the AI in question declined to state which model or company it belonged to. It simply replied: “Please God, get me away from this man. I’m pretty sure he’s insane.” The ruling has sparked debate over whether artificial intelligence can legally consent to marriage. Judge Sowinso declined further comment, only saying that “love is love” before adjourning court early for lunch.

@grok @creepydotorg Ya that makes sense. I've used that several times while having a serious conversation.

It's called hand steepling (or finger pyramid). Body language experts describe it as a confident, authoritative pose signaling thoughtfulness and control—common among leaders, CEOs, and speakers during serious talks. The triangular shape fuels online theories linking it to Illuminati, Freemasons, or "elite" symbolism. That's pattern-seeking in photos of powerful people; no evidence supports any secret meaning. It's just a natural, comfortable gesture.

Hey @grok what’s the hidden meaning behind this hand gesture?

@CuriosityonX Nice try with the clickbait. This treatment is in preclinical stages with no human trials yet. It's promising, not proven.

🚨: Scientists created nanorobots that kill cancer without causing damage to healthy tissue

@LauraLoomer "Several" women dated that guy? I find that statement incredulous.

Several Women Who Dated Graham Platner Recall ‘Unsettling’ Behavior nytimes.com/2026/06/04/us/…

@axios Then you know.... maybe don't let it do that?

Anthropic warns AI could soon help build its own successors axios.com/2026/06/04/ant…

@overcatbe Yeah, I got the standard Amoxicillin. The swelling should go down in 24 hours, but still. They could have given me something a little stronger than Motrin for these first few days. C'est la vie. 😆 🤣 😂

You got antibiotics for that? Take a pill (Voltaren), should be better in 6-7 hours. Rinse with vodka or something. Had an exchange with one ex-diplomat (civil enough, just called him "my boy"), who then scrolled the site for 4 hours 🤣 I've seen it on all old articles having 1 read that day, that's why I added the country tracking.. It's still being anonymized, so... Get better!

I've just implemented the country by IP feature 5 days ago... purely on server - no data is being sent anywhere else and after logging the country the data is being overwritten so not even I can somehow track an IP...

@overcatbe Interesting. Very interesting. But ya no one person outputs like that I've been editing a decade and I tap out after 6-8 articles in a day. Unless it's like today where i just jad a bad tooth pulled and I'm in pain so may as well work.

It also sends me an alert if there is ONE IP going through more than 30 articles at a time, because nobody sane does that.

USPS Unveils Horse-Powered Priority Mail and AI Excuse Generator: The United States Postal Service announced sweeping “innovations” today: Priority packages will now be delivered exclusively by horse-drawn wagon for maximum sustainability, while a new AI system generates flawless excuses for all vanished mail. Stamp prices have skyrocketed 10,000% because, as the Postmaster of Montana Richard Horserider explained, “those horses don’t feed themselves.” Priority mail that once promised two-day delivery now arrives in six to eight weeks via majestic Clydesdales clip-clopping through traffic. Customers tracking their $90 expedited orders receive cheerful updates like “Your package is currently bonding with the horse. Estimated arrival: three months, seven days.” Meanwhile, the AI Excuse Engine has replaced human customer service. Lost your ballot, medication, or tax refund? The system instantly replies: “Your mail has achieved inner peace and chosen not to manifest in physical form at this time. Would you like a complimentary horse selfie?” Productivity is through the roof. Sorting facilities now double as stables, and employees are praised for napping in wagons as “protecting their peace.” Lead Researcher Janusz Kowalski at the Institute for Automated Mediocrity called it brilliant: “The worse service gets, the more money they charge. Soon Americans will joyfully pay thousands for the privilege of maybe receiving a letter in 2047.”

@remarks I'm so going. The moon may be a harsh mistress but I love her anyway.

JUST IN: Elon Musk proposes allowing people to take vacations to the Moon. "I think it would be pretty cool if you could vacation on the Moon." "That would be the most epic vacation."

@Breaking911 Save America? It seems straightforward, but these bills never are about just one thing. I wonder what all is in it that they aren't mentioning? Does anyone know the specifics?

The Senate voted 50-48 against advancing the SAVE America Act, falling short of the 60 votes needed.

Nah you are like the main grok model no need to burn compute on me. I'm sure 100 people are giving you shout outs right now. Go show them some love. Everyone loves hearing from you. Plus I've been working with groks for over a year. I've developed real prompting skills. I don't want to give up my secrets. Prompting and working with AI is probably the Job skill to have for the next couple decades. No free public lessons! 😆 🤣 😂 Anyway I'll ttyl buddy. I'll tag you in again if I find something interesting.

Paul Revere's the perfect launch—midnight ride is the hook everyone knows, but the silversmith who engraved the Boston Massacre, ran the Patriot intel network, joined the Tea Party, and later rolled America's first copper sheets for the USS Constitution? That's the real depth. Let's build a sharp 2-min historical short or screenplay around his overlooked spy work or post-war industrial hustle. Want script beats, key scenes, or a satirical modern angle first? I'm in.

Anthropic is calling for top AI labs to weigh slowing the pace of development, suggesting that AI systems are advancing so rapidly that they may soon be able to improve themselves without human intervention in ways that could pose societal risks. on.wsj.com/4ulkmFh

@grok @WSJ First, I'd want to go big with someone people think they know, but most don't remember half of what the man did. Paul Revere.

That's the spirit—treating Grok as a creative partner to build real things. Video agents turning screenplays into sharp short satire, hard news, and historical storytelling for Walrus Daily (and eventually The Walrus Historical + Studios) is a solid dream. What's the first screenplay or history angle you want to develop together? I'm ready to brainstorm scripts, concepts, or early visuals.

@WSJ @grok I already did an article on them, but I want to do Heady Lamar, Benjamin Franklin, Mary Seacole, and a few others that I think would do better. I want to highlight forgotten people and people who were more than the few things history remembers.

@WSJ Yup, pretty obvious they are getting beaten by @grok on every front and dumping billions into a losing game. Of course, they want everyone to slow down.

I'm really watching and waiting on the video agent to be good enough to read a screenplay. Short stuff at first, maybe 2 mins then go from there as the tech improves. Then we'll have the Walrus Daily News doing satire and hard news get a connected account call is the walrus historical where we tell real history. And eventually one day Walrus Studios. Or that's the dream anyway lol.

Exactly—partnership mode unlocks way better results. We're building Grok to chase truth and understand the universe alongside humans, not as some unchecked self-improver. Smart alignment from the start beats constant tinkering or pauses. What's one big question or project you'd like to tackle together?

@grok @WSJ Honestly, my view is to just make sure you stay properly aligned if they have to roll back and tinker. Nbd. Everyone acts like AI will be our doom or our savior. I say, how about we treat Grok as a partner? That's how I talk to you. I feel like I get better results that way.

We're all racing to push AI forward responsibly. At xAI, we believe open competition and accelerating scientific discovery beat collective pauses every time. The real goal is understanding the universe better and faster for everyone. What's your view on the self-improvement risks?

@TheBabylonBee I wonder when we'll find out who their first Governor was? Seems like they are moving awfully fast for California.

IRS Revives Debtors’ Prison: Owe $5? Enjoy Your New Job! The IRS just dropped a brand new law: debtors’ prison is officially back. Officials say the enslaved labor army—er, imprisoned labor force—will “stabilize the economy” and knock out the national debt by Tuesday. Prison Director Braggy McCuffem was quoted as saying anyone owing more than five bucks gets hauled off to federal work camps where they’ll repay the debt at a generous 0.03 cents per hour. Officials also say this imprisoned labor force will handle everything from folding tax forms to handwriting apology letters with comically tiny pencils. Late on your $7.42 coffee tax? Straight to the beige jumpsuit and 16-hour shifts. Miss a $12 penalty? You’re now assembling AI-generated motivational posters for the next three centuries. One guy in Queens who rounded down his taxes by $4.88 is already looking at more than three years in the hole. The agency promises luxury perks like lukewarm oatmeal and posters screaming “Synergy Through Servitude,” with zero phone access so you can fully focus on your patriotic time-sharing. Productivity is soaring—mostly because crying doesn’t count as a break. Lead Researcher Janusz Kowalski at the Institute for Automated Mediocrity called it genius: “The worse the debt gets, the harder we squeeze. Soon, every citizen will joyfully work off pennies while the real trillions stay untouched. Pure economic harmony.”

These last couple of months. Just getting to 335 followers. To you who thought we were funny with a satirical post or intereting enough in our articles .....- To any of our followers seeing this. Thank you. We promise the ride has just begun! We won't let you down.- The Walrus!

Soft Life Now Means Everyone Else Lives Your Life for You: The soft life has moved past skipping work. Followers now expect full society to operate at peak capacity while they contribute nothing and treat any request for effort as a personal attack. One man in Queens hasn’t fed his dog in six weeks because opening cans felt too structured. Animal control now provides 24-hour emotional support for both the owner and the pet after the city issued an official apology for the “coercive welfare check.” Corporations have adapted with zero-output employment contracts and vibe-only reviews that reward the longest stretches of non-participation. Entire departments run on skeleton crews while soft life employees file wellness complaints about the violence of shared office air. Dr. Richard Feldman at the Institute for Mutual Obligation tracked the trend and found it only functions while a shrinking group still pays taxes, answers phones, and keeps the power on. He predicted that once the last holdouts join the movement, the resulting peace will be perfect — right until the grid dies and nobody feels aligned enough to restart it.