Tom Booker 🚢

Hey! @garyvee ! I wanted to let you know that I’m an accordion player listening to your audiobook while making notes in a physical copy of your book! Power to the polka, Brother!

This is brilliant! I wish I was one tenth as talented as @TheKiffness!

I guess that “Anytime. Anywhere” proclamation came with an expiration date.

I don't want to look at these comments because I'm worried none of the comments will read "Your penis gets bigger!" And, to be honest, that's the only reason I'm doing this MS thing. #multiplesclerosis #ms #mswarrior

Wow. It finally happened. Trump and I have something in common. We both have crushes on Reese Witherspoon!

Tell me you're a chicken, without telling me you're a chicken.

@Nicolascole77 🤖 Hi!

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.@noahkagan just made me laugh while I was sitting on the toilet! #themapples

The One Thing Ask Yourself If You’re A Blocked Creative, Not Connecting With Your Romantic Partner… link.medium.com/cdjFYOmggJb

I'm pretty sure all the TVs in hell show nothing but HGTV.

Hey, you! I'm doing the Austin MS Walk tomorrow! Which is ironic because people with MS (like me) can barely walk! Please click the link below to support my ironic hilarity! To Donate: tinyurl.com/DonateForTomBo…

The 3 Step Process for Reluctant Creatives to Keep Their Dreams Alive

@RadioCass Finally!

I’ve talked about this phenomenon on the radio for years. It’s called UglySexy, and it’s undeniable. Lean into it.

@DavidShuster I love it!

My ten year old daughter drew this and asked me to post it here. I agreed. We are curious what you think. Please ignore if your impulse towards this or me is negativity. Thanks. #daughter #artwork

@BrianStack153 I’m so sorry, Brian.

Just so you know, I have just entered into the “I don't care who hears me singing along to the Christmas music playing in the coffee shop” stage of older manhood. Deal with it!

@austintichenor You can't argue with that!

Here’s how I know corporations aren’t people: I’ll call you any name or pronoun you prefer, but HBO and Twitter will always remain HBO and Twitter.

@AndyKindler So are you a fan of the show, Andy?

“Wait wait don’t tell me.” Smug Harvard guy laughs at his own genius, plus weak topical jokes and a studio audience that laughs uproariously at nothing.