To Bella who accidentally used my number for the waitlist at Eggspectation San Antonio, you are now 5th in line, bestie. You're moving up in the world!
Just remembered when I was working at a gas station and this man held the door open for me and, instead of saying thank you, I habitually asked, "Are you a member of Murphy Drive Rewards?"
Made my account private again solely so I could tweet this:
Fuck you David. I hope your french fries are forever soggy. Please stop checking yourself out in your camera. We can all see you doing it. Please.