illy ୨୧

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illy ୨୧

@aborteddd_illy

had to delete previous bio welp. info in pinned + strawpage!! || priv - @illyyyss

เข้าร่วม Temmuz 2025
878 กำลังติดตาม1.2K ผู้ติดตาม
illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
maybe it’s because I don’t have any other examples. I don’t have friends irl and I never visit other peoples homes, I think I forget sometimes that some things are just like wrong to do, or just not “normal” exactly. I should clean my bed soon I think
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
sometimes I feel like I’m so blind to the weird shit that I do. my bed is just full of random things, boxes, plastic bottles, qtips, leaflets, worn clothes, broken glass, just a bunch of junk basically, but I never even give it a second thought, even though it’s lowkey disgusting
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
on one hand I deeply resent all the people who called me fat and made me hate myself for years on end, but on the flip side of that, I never would’ve accepted that I needed to lose weight without them telling me all those things, so I guess I owe them something for that
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
it’s not even body dysmorphia anymore, I think my thighs are just naturally huge and that they refuse to shed any weight. 2 years of being disordered and they STILL look practically the same as they did before
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
@anth3musa aaaa I’m all okay now, don’t worry ^^ (I was just tweaking earlier welp, sorry if I caused any worry) but thank you!!
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
I’m so determined to off myself tonight, it’s going to be such a pity when I wake up tomorrow morning still alive
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
this was meant to say “IM so in love” my typing is atrocious tonight
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
no wonder I love them all, they’re just what I aspire to be. aaaaaaa in so in love
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
@virtoshiii I think the second one too 🙂‍↕️ (considering I can’t find the hair tie which clearly means the person took it 🤔)
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
either I untied my hair and don’t remember, or the magical hand of the person who lurks behind all my furniture came up behind my chair came up and did it for me
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
sometimes I do feel like I’m going to randomly see someone behind my chair, or behind a chest of drawers, hiding in my house with me, but this experience just proves that if there is infact someone there, they’re actually very kind and helpful, so it’s okay
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
but like who is SHE to dictate what I love about myself and what I don’t, like excuse me??
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
one time I was doing a ‘body image’ activity with my clinician and she asked me to name one part of myself that I loved. I said, “my feet because they scare my mother”, she told me that didn’t count </3
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
memories are just so evil, I feel like half of the “memories” in my head were never even real and never even happened, not to me anyway. it’s so stupid really
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
I’m so hungry but I already made the decision to start drinking tonight, so purging food now would just waste alcohol and set me back a drink, which would be a very bad decision😿
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
@Edtwtuser16 aaaa thank you thank you!! ^^ I hope you can too, and stay safeee
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
I’m wondering when I should relapse? I think I’ll just wait until I gain some freedom back, like being allowed to go to school again, and go out by myself, so I can live normally for a while, and THEN I’ll start cutting myself again
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
@Edtwtuser16 aaaa nooo it’s totally fine dww!! I think because I get a lot of my validation based off of depth, if I wasn’t able to go as deep as I used to anymore it would be fairly triggering for me (in a negative way), assuming I didn’t really want to stop doing it in the first place ^^
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
@LizzieLoo0 aaaaa yes this definitely helps and actually makes a lot of sense, thank you thank you ^_^
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⋆˚࿔ 𝐥𝐢𝐳 𝜗𝜚˚
⋆˚࿔ 𝐥𝐢𝐳 𝜗𝜚˚@LizzieLoo0·
@abortedd_illyy Oh girl i have this too! My mom said I have it since birth and the doctors said there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s the same with boobs, for some people one is bigger than the other. Hope this helps^^
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illy ୨୧
illy ୨୧@aborteddd_illy·
this is an old bc (from the start of june) but I feel like my ribs look weird? like they look uneven, maybe that’s normal or I’m just overthinking it idk
illy ୨୧ tweet mediailly ୨୧ tweet media
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