Susie

This type of woman runs a coffee shop like the military

I bet the calories went straight to my butt and boobs.

100 grams of sugar...im such a filthy girl

dirty soda does indeed taste like youre drinking something naughty

They should make a movie theater Chinese buffet with a bowling alley and maybe a top golf inside

No one glazes you as hard as the old people who work at the grocery store you worked at as a teenager

I realize that when people suck it’s almost always because they are going through something difficult. How do I stop fantasize about hitting them with my car ?

@DylanRoss Small price to pay for sub-1k rent

@auntwhimsy i would severely concuss myself on those stairs

@babyybeckz @bashfoal These are whale tail jeans

@bashfoal They don’t make underwear low enough for these

I’m such a lucky person that I usually don’t get what I want (I want very stupid things)

@luvrgrrrl777 This is how I got a promotion

tweeted this as a joke and then proceeded to fart in the middle of a meeting earlier :/ fuck

Our hero Balthazar

I wanted to watch this one particular dark comedy because I heard it’s Naughty and then I learned it was filmed in my fuckass north Texas town. Now I really gotta see it

🤔

@SolitaryBoy1250 Buss

“Sandwich posting?” Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?

@paularambles There is a sign in the bathroom at a local vegan cafe that says “no flushing undergarments please” lol

i love signs that are clearly the result of one very specific incident

My mom went to Italy and brought me this