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"sasa hautanikatia nyasi juu ya sabuni bois"

"nini hiyo ulinyonyesha ndama yangu anauliza mbona matiti zangu ni nne na yako ni moja"

@EvanoMemba hiyo ni hook ya kufish mtoto akianza kuform😂

Someone's girlfriend dropped this on my seat. What is it?👇👇🙆

@__mtskid change or perish jomba😂😂

Naisha 😂😂

"hiyo sabuni yote kwani utakula peke yako,nigawie bois"

Okay,na ile vest yako ya white?

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Busaa ni pombe ingine hatari, unagonga gorogoro moja peke yako lakini hazishiki, inabidi umeongeza kashell B. Ukifika kwa nyumba ndio zinaamua kulipuka unapoteza network. Bibi akikuja kukuamsha ukule unamwambia " Oyaaa!! Na ujuwe leo sikua na budget ya kulala na malaya, not unless unipe shot alafu tuandike kwa kitabu ya deni". Yani tangu Zakayo aweke biblia chini imekua tu ni mateso bila chuki hadi nimesahau taste ya beer. Those with monies, as you partake beer & other high-end liquor tonight, priiss remember us the less fortunate.

"unanipea unga kavu unataka ininyonge bois"

"We mama hio ni maziwa yangu unapea mtoto wako!"

"unamwagia ancestors pombe kwani wamechanga"

@mzee_ki ni mbaya the last 3 days imekuwa mrefu hii side😂

When will this ban get off my asss?! Naskia nichukue kitu nijidunge dunge.

Niliambiwa "am pregnant" ikabidi niingie mitini miezi mbili but nikaona hakuna haja yakuza ateseke peke nikaamua kutake responsibility.Siku ya kufanya ultrasound tujue gender ya mtoi nikaona twins.Nilisimamia kitale sikhendu sub division bcoz wuueh,kazi ya mungu ilikua na makosa!

Ndio kurudi back to my crib after a long day pale mjengo, foreman naye leo amekuwa mkali ni kama bibi alimunyima over the weekend. One day the sun will shine up on us.

@ClaudeBrilliant hakutafuta mahali pa kuweka minajili😂

Kuna mluya ameniambia ameniona nikipita hapo mara tatu mtawalia. Wtf is mtawalia buana😂😂

"hiyo ugali ni ndogo, ama haukuli?"

Is it just me or trench coats actually make people look like "old money"? Kuna vile they give you "I have a lot of money" kind of aura. Mtu akikuamgalia namna hii anaweza dhani your surname is Kenyatta kumbe you are Colins Wepukhulu from Matisi!😂

Unpopular opinion but busy days are the best days, you might be tired and stressed but atleast you were not overthinking and sad all day.

"sabuni ya fifti unajam ivo,na ni kama nilikanyaga ndoo,toka ujionee"

huyu nikimpeleka american got talent ni ivo,block nimetoka

"hiyo maji ulikuwa umeeka nje ipigwe na jua uoge nayo nimeikunywa"