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To Heaven

I spend 2-3 hours a day watching short form content of people eating yummy food

@Delicious_Tacos @booktycoon Been saying this for years

I’m the CEO of a hot dog company. I’ve worked on hot dogs for 10 years. And *I* wasn’t prepared for what I’ve just seen. Your life is about to change. So what can you do? Buy as many hot dogs as you can. Buy stock in hot dog companies.

This is our casino butter. It’s like a zip sauce

Being sick will have you remembering the days when you weren’t sick

Ok sure why not

@hopes_revenge oh no

JUST IN: Anthropic's Claude has begun mandatory penis inspection day checks for some users.

@skooookum straight actor michael douglas

gay cumtown where just they’re sitting around doing straight accents

@moralfagging It’s like a zip sauce

We moved on a bit too quickly from the casino butter debacle

Really gotta go back to this and stop making bleep bloop music

Rider

My life as a model in New York City

@realDonaldTrump @netanyahu

@fmtownsmartey Pretty sure I was at CVS and one of these guys had a gun

Big fan of those security guards in the garment district whose uniform theme is “as close to impersonating a police officer as you can possibly, legally get”

#weather #hotoutside

Should I click this link just to feel something?

Considering weighing in on dating discourse. But I’ll hold off

Who up building they strange & terrible machine

Can someone please make sure I pay my taxes today I’m going to forget

@tao_lin Did you pay her back

Nini went missing on March 15. After a week, I thought there was a 50 percent chance he was gone forever. The previously longest he's been gone is 5.5 days. He is extremely shy and not good at hunting. I searched for him in the forest. I set up a trail camera with food. I posted on various online social media about him being missing. I visited a woman who feeds ~30 cats who might have seen him. I tacked flyers to poles. I walked around calling his name every five seconds. I talked to an animal medium, who said he seemed to be alive. She said Nini gave the number "4" and asked if it meant anything to me. It didn't. Later I realized it did. I'd gotten him when I lived on 4th Avenue. But overall I felt that the medium didn't give enough undeniable evidence so she gave me a refund, though later her evidence seemed stronger, as I remembered more things that connected to what Nini had brought through to her. Last night, after exactly four weeks, Nini returned on his own! I was on my bed with my other cat and I heard something on the floor. Through the noise of a podcast interview, I thought it was a large moth, one of the moths that sometimes gets inside my house. Then I heard a creaky meow beside me and it was Nini! He seems skinny but otherwise healthy. I have no idea where he went. I'm surprised and impressed that he survived for four weeks.

The club is the devils church

@ihymacc probably not no

would you buy this Kim Kardashian speaker?