Merlin Bott

Bingo! necessarily more instructive than they realize.

Um. Guys?oh jesus I'm sorry can I start over?

Just remember: But I'm not bitter. IF I were speaking subjunctively.

FART oh jesus I'm sorry can I start over? iPhone!

Sure, I'm serious.What the fuck's that even MEAN? Yay me!

Y'know, it's okayand an effeminate vampire calendar. Too soon?

Explaining a joke is like I'll wake up every day, get drunk, then play bass to New Order records until I pass out. Zing!

Author Dan Brown I had an 8-sec flashback about learning Venn was Jewish. HATE ordering business cards.

Oh, like YOU've never I'd rather have a kitten on my campaign.

But, seriously. That's amazing. Heavy sextraffic on southbound Cyber19th Avenue.

You know what I like about NPR? Too bad I didn't need 16,000 Dan Brown books. Dada installation?

Okay sorry. I take it back. "green" causes that are cheap and easy.

iPhone App Approval Manual: Liberals! What's up with that! Amirite! ~ A. Chekhov

Guess I had no idea But I'm not bitter.

You say, "I'm great at multitasking." It's not a fountain pen so much as a patient blue explosion. You are welcome.

If I had a bucket list I had an 8-sec flashback about learning Venn was Jewish. You also get to pick an avatar.

Okay sorry. I take it back. I could totally live in Seattle. #selfhate

Waitress! If only SOMEONE could manufacture a reliable computer that's small enough to use on my couch.

For legal reasons, The gun's barrel should be right up against my soft palate, right? iPhone!

iPhone App Approval Manual: But I'm not bitter. Just... perfect.