Keenan Panitz

The perfect fire escape route doesn’t exi- *gets burned alive*

If you’re not watching the @ValsparChamp I really don’t want hear from you during the Masters #pga

My face card doesn’t get declined but it’s definitely not accepted at all major retailers

Well then be remiss already

Yo momma so fat they had to rename her local in-N-out to just “in”

Every day is back day if your form is as bad as mine!

Find someone who loves you as much as walton goggins loves saying “yo daddy”

Shakespeare’s Hamlet was originally titled “Ham Omelet”

Bijan Robinson really just said “smear the queer” on national TV.

How bad does one Carl have to be to warrant his own cavern

Blazers used to be straightforward, even basic. Now, decidedly more adventurous options are popping up—velvet, leopard, funky darting, elongated hemlines. Has the preppy blazer become a fashionable renegade? Here’s how to wear today’s bold new styles: on.wsj.com/4qqRASV

@PabloTorre @DarthAmin you guys missed a great opportunity to use this clip/pun youtu.be/YeV6hXPr44k?fe…

I went to the trap, the mall, and the club. We must’ve just missed each other

I know a guy who really cares about THIS score in Mario. Seriously unhinged and unprecedented. Has anyone ever noticed or paid attention to or acknowledged this number’s existence.

Instead of Jell-O shots can we normalize eating a bowl of vodka jello

Yea I got a service dog, serve this dog with chili & cheese

How did they not discontinue sashimi after sushi dropped

Me in elementary school after hitting my bullies with “Take a picture, it’ll last longer!” (There’s shit on my pants)

What did you call me

My biggest gripe with Andor season 2 is they didn’t add more conjunctions. Real fans know we got cheated out of Andorbutyetso

After someone says good question I’m already mentally in Cancun enjoying the offseason. The answer is irrelevant yall enjoy the fruits of my labor