grief is more like a chronic illness rather than physical trauma (scarring, bruising, etc.) You manage it for long periods of time to the point where you forget what the "normal" you ever was. You become accustomed to being "sick" and frankly there's strength in that.
when I was a kid I almost got banned from wannado city cause I flew a plane into a building as a pilot... then my mom had to explain what 9/11 was to me in the car