Dave

bong

I have no friends in person My entire social life is messaging neet chuds on social media

@Breaking911 Cool but can she clear 5 bowls back to back? Thought not. Get the fuck outta here with this useless information.

High school student Mia Heller, 18, has reportedly invented a water filter capable of removing up to 95.5% of microplastics.

So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin pussy jelly. Scientists were like "holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin pussy jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and just fucking cum myself to death.

@Awk20000 Nah why's he actually healthier than me now lmao

Asmongold claims he walks 3 miles a day, 5 times a week

I would rather have a tenth of my audience size than have to post an apology video every week for the most mundane shit

Smoke weed

@jacobfuknjones I just had a pack of those Jacob, they were pretty good.

This post reminded me of the Canadian cigarettes with an impotence warning

@Dexerto Are they trying to give me a heart attack wtf

McDonald's is reportedly launching energy drinks and other new beverages later this year including: - Red Bull Dragonberry Energizer - Mango Pineapple Refresher - Dirty Dr Pepper via WSJ

@kick @xQc @adinross @N3onOnYT @LosPollosTV @REALIcePoseidon @RampageJackson @Clavicular0 @Asmongold @Trainwreckstv @Ninadrama 8 I'd love to hit the slopes w Train and Asmon

where you sitting?

@dsxf234161 I deleted my weather app years ago fuck you faggot

FUCK THE CANADIANS

@adolfelmer @anarcho_cat Now this is accurate!

“Beware of false prophets”

@DAKKADAKKA1 Blasphemy!!! He's such a fake Christian that this would look better if he was dressed as the Anti-Christ.

That fucking fake Christian Female Pentecostal pastor probably sent him this image. Satanic.

My friend that is an angel

Technology

@kitcnz healthy is my my middle name😜

@davislols 120 RESTING?!

Heart attacks don't exist because if they did I would've had one years ago.

@kitcnz ur not too far off rn it's a healthy 120 resting bpm

@davislols i bet ur BPM is like 270

This is right wing art in its purest form

@LenFier @elonmusk @LeafyIsHere He's just an autistic ket addicted retard

@davislols @elonmusk @LeafyIsHere People like to act like Elon is Based when he most certainly isn’t lol

Fuck @elonmusk unsuspending everyone but @leafyishere including those who say much worse than just "Nuke Israel" lmao