Scrambles the Death Dealer

golf carts are just boneless jeeps

it took a solid 3 minutes to get my cat to let go of my shirt so the vet could take her back to do bloodwork before they spay her. the vet said “i almost feel like a monster taking her away” at least my cat feels safe with me? 😅

@ozzyboi_ rip i’m letting chat pick a bunch of my baldurs gate choices this stream

@deadling_ im sadly off to a movie… but have a fantastic stream

hey i guess i could tell x or twitter or whatever when i’m live (which is rn) twitch.tv/deadling_

our druid just turned into an acid frog and tongue punched a cloaker’s fart box from the inside anyway y’all should try dnd sometime

the entire four days i’ve spent on this cruise ship has just been me trying to figure out if this guy is bautista or not bc even his tattoos are in the same places i fear i will never know the answer

i reinstalled this app to humbly request that @larianstudios gives me a romancable minsc at their earliest convenience. they are creating art and i would like to appreciate every piece of it thank u

like homie, your patients with physical disabilities shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to get into the room. fix this????? why is it even a problem in the first place????

being my step dad’s home health aide i go to his doctor’s appointments with him regularly, and it’s wild to me how inaccessible exam rooms in doctor’s offices are if you’re in a wheelchair. he almost always bumps into chairs or has issues getting through the narrow doorways.

just explained the concept of a “scary dog friend” to my mom she said “i need one of those but i guess i’ll settle for a scary daughter”

DM: this character is done, he’s served his usefulness and i had to make him up to get you guys out of a prison that you WERENT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IN party: NO WE LOVE HIM AND YOU GAVE HIM A NAME DM: fine. roll persuasion me: nat 20. fuck you. our druid now has 2 characters

@djisbass i should have picked a less squishy class. lesson learned. next time i’m playing either a fighter or a bard lmao

@deadling_ WELCOME TO DND WHERE YOUR CLASS IS MADE UP AND ONLY THE ROLLS MATTER

if my ranger rolls a shitty stealth check just for our fucking goliath barbarian to get a nat 20 on his i am going to EAT MY DICE

“i wanna ride a shield like a skateboard down the stairs if helm’s deep while firing arrows at the orcs” “roll with disadvantage” “two nat 20s” “GOD DAMMIT LEGOLAS”

@darthxketchum someone compared their guitarists writing styles now this tweet exists

justin long walked so michael cera could run

i will never have more audacity than when a man hands me his debit card at the bar

i need to stop trying to buy tarot decks every time i’m sad 🥴

my sister told our cat to shut up and then we both started singing songs with the phrase “shut up” her: shut up by simple plan me: right now by korn i feel this is an accurate representation of our personalities

thinking about him

sometimes i think back on when @jaredparisss was my roommate and all i really remember aside from it being massively chill was that when he was half asleep and had to get out of bed he would haphazardly stomp around like a damn t-101 and honestly?? not mad at it. v entertaining