Dr-baker

@InsideLucysHead Why do you call me Dave? My name's not Dave, my name's Rodney!

A psychology professor starts his lecture by telling the students: "Today we'll learn about the three stages of human emotion: surprise, irritation, and rage." With that, he takes his phone out of his pocket, puts it on speaker, and dials a random number. "Hello, may I please speak to Dave?" says the professor when the other person answers. "No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number" says the person on the other end. "You see that students, that's surprise. Now allow me to show you what irritation sounds like." He picks up the phone again, and dials the same number. When it answers, the professor asks. "Hi, can Dave come to the phone?" "I told you you have the wrong number" "That's irritation, my friends" says the professor. "Now, let's look at what rage looks like" He picks up the phone and dials the number again. When it answers he asks. "Is Dave available?" "LISTEN, YOU FOOKING DIPSHIT. IF YOU CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN, I'LL COME OVER, BREAK THAT PHONE IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!!!!!" "And that's rage." "Professor, you forgot the fourth stage," says a young man in the front rows. "And what might that be?" asks the professor. "It's called the stage of total confusion. Allow me to demonstrate" He comes up to the podium, takes the professor's phone and dials the same number. "Hello, this is Dave, has somebody called me today?"

@Aidan_Millward Am I theory one to like the Tyrrell P34? Or the MasterCard Lola?

BBC doing an article on which is the prettiest F1 car. Hot take: I don’t know why the Jordan 191 is always on these lists, it’s not even the prettiest Jordan.

no super clipping no tyre saving no artificial overtakes no battery just straight wheel to wheel racing

In 1788, Mozart wrote a mock-Latin choral piece called ‘Difficile lectu’. When sung in a Bavarian accent, the lyrics sound like the German for ‘It is difficult, to lick my own arse and balls’.

@Doll_Arte @SkinnyTuna How do you get minus zero???

@SkinnyTuna this is a screenshot from the official app of the UK Meteorological Office

i like how every country has a different name for “how cold it FEELS like” . in canada its windchill. in america its RealFeel(?) i assume its something normal and not funny in england

@landoslawyer McLaren have three female junior drivers: Ella Lloyd, Ella Stevens, and Ella Hakkinen...

im sorry WHO????

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He lowered his altitude, spotted a woman in a boat below and shouted to her: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I’d meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The woman consulted her portable GPS and shouted back, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You’re at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude." The man rolled his eyes and yelled, “You must be a Democrat." “I am,” replied the woman. “How did you know?” “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information. Frankly, you haven’t been much help to me.” The woman smiled and yelled, “You must be a Republican.” “I am,” shouted the balloonist. “How did you know?” “Well,” said the woman, “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are thanks to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now it’s all my fault.”

Anyone dismissing comedy should take a look at Top Secret! (1984), where an entire sequence was performed backwards and then reversed in post, creating one of the most inventive gags ever put on screen.

@ihatemeen_ Is your brother called Bob? "Can I have a p please, Bob?"

once used a phone that "P" wasn't working. So every morning my brother sends me "P" so I can copy and use for the day😭😭😭

Time for some Orinoco Flow, muvahfukkers!

Erm… that doesn’t sound right? 😂

Pit lane fits 🏁 #FuelTheMagic

Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck are ready to hit the racetrack in style 🚗🏁 An all-new collab with Minnie, Daisy and @f1academy is coming ✨ di.sn/6010B6zfYC

everytime I come to london my mates will say some shit like “get the pinkersmith line to banana & dolphin and then you can change onto the dinkerdonk line to splooge street” and expect me to understand what the hell they’re talking about

@UnracedF1 How could you forget that Pierluigi Martini in his Minardi started 2nd in Phoenix in 1990?!

I always had in my mind that the last race on those improvised circuits in the States happened in 1987😅

@F1_JamieDwyer93 @UnracedF1 Just come across this, with a proposed track layout: youtube.com/shorts/vdl5ZEm…

@UnracedF1 Autosport, October 23rd 2008

New intros have been released for F1 shows as well but none even come close to the GOAT

Rudolf Ratzenberger, Imola, 2022. Via Grand Prix Photo.

The 1984 BBC Video logo. Shown at the start and end of BBC Videos from 1981-88, the end version reverses the visuals but keeps the same music. There's lots of colour and an elaborate typeface to convince you that you'd made a fine purchase! In mid-1988 this was replaced with the BBC globe logo and slower, more swelling synth music. In 1991 it changed again, using the three letter BBC name in boxes with coloured underlines and a much shorter, simpler musical sting.