machine pun jelly👹

Fuck nudes, send a picture of your pills for me to see what kind of psycho I'm dealing with

slap me with this, each day like an alarm

@hidinghoney why does every button have to work

Hey Elon, if everyone can see when I've read their DMs, what the hell is the point of this? Get your shit together man

@MrTomMcDermott with a budget smaller than hull city, those buds are playing with levers

🤣🤣🤣

@aciiidburnn cool tats

Been tanning behind my building since I was bullied by an old man at the local dive bar (he said my legs were super pale and he was blinded 🫪)

@ManUnitedZone @marca id like to place a bid to buy Barcelona

🚨 Barcelona are interested and have Benjamin Sesko on their list if they are unable to sign Julian Alvarez. They want a striker who is good at linking play, and scoring goals, and Sesko fits that profile. [@marca]

@MoMohler my guy, i too am talking about sports rivalry, cricket based sporting rivalry referred to

@iamvkhil2 Sports, that exist to take your mind off of the terrible things happening in this world. It helps.

No other country could handle the Michigan vs Ohio State rivalry.

my peace is stuck inside me like a fart that wouldn't come out

tomorrow isn't promised, yesterday is a story, present is where you fck up

@ammandev Needs another season of consistent starts at mid table clubs, maybe

Crysencio Summerville looked VERY good in Holland v Sweden at the World Cup 😍 Would you take him at Man United?

this may be difficult to digest, but most coffee runs are not worth it

im just guy standing infront of a vending machine, asking it to work properly

gonna start a fragrance brand called sniff happens

@deloisivete most europeans are naturalists

All these World Cup visitors are suspiciously quiet about the terrible American bathroom stall door situation

@TorontoBlonde 6'3"

I am 5'9" and can reach that for you. How tall are you?

what would you be without the drama

@SiriusXMFC @FIFAWorldCup @tomrenniesoccer they can have their share of fun but impossible isn't happening

Can the #USMNT win the @FIFAWorldCup? @tomrenniesoccer is starting to think it's possible!

@MUFCScoop Go amadessi !!

🚨Amad Diallo starts for Ivory Coast against Germany 🇨🇮 #MUFC

@BenDesigned this fifa event feels like an auction platform

He scored 7 goals this season. Just 7. He’d only scored 1 for Netherlands before today. So, not that much still.