andrew kim$

i keep everything public just in case nardwuar or someone wants to give me gifts

ive been getting myself to do the chores by imagining myself on an episode of taskmaster "and four points to mr andrew kim, i think he did great well job breaking down the cardboard when putting away the recycling"

the hamtarovirus? this silly looking guy? you mean - wait - his feces??? i don't believe you.

when i turn 80 imma get addicted to zyns just for the hell of it

being a beta male doesnt even seem that bad. it's like the second letter

IF U SEE ME IN PERSON N I DONT SAY MUCH UNDERSTAND IM VERY BASHFUL U HAVE TO GET TO KNOW ME TO TRUELY SEE MY SWAG BLOSSOM

@julianlearning idgi

if you ever see me walking around eating an ice cream cone mind your own damn business

they should make a septum piercing fitness tracker

next time someone asks me my favorite color imma say deyoung museum men's room green

@julianlearning n

do women like guys who are still finding their way in the world but lowkey have a heart of gold and a clean jumpshot

yeah nice try, boss. im not gonna "slack" you later. im hard at work over here.

mcdonalds should make a james joyce meal

let me bounce on that thought real quick

i have three monitors and three phones going on at once at work and i just think my number should be more accurate

they should invent a screen time tracker that also includes if you have multiple monitors at your desk setup

lots of things to do in Long Island

if i were a closing pitcher my walkout song would be Kiss Me Thru The Phone by Soulja Boy