Donald

Toilets on trains freak me out I always feel like I’m away to be unveiled like a game show prize 😂

My toxic trait is that I expect everyone to have common sense and get mad when they don’t.

This nigga told his job he didn’t want a birthday party cuz his anxiety. They threw him one anyways. He had a panic attack. They fired him for his “behavior”. He sued & now they owe him 550K.

When you were afraid of something, happening and it actually happens.

normalize not telling your child’s business to the whole family. your children should trust you enough to know what y’all talk about won’t be in the next ear. kids deserve privacy too.

People with no social media, living off the grid, plant based, living sustainably...their minds. It’s too late for me but their minds.

i fw music more than i fw people

I asked my boyfriend to help clean the apartment before my family visited. He said, "Just tell me what needs to be done." I pointed at the overflowing trash bag. He nodded seriously. Three hours later, I found him reorganizing his gaming setup because he said he was "creating an efficient workspace." The trash was still there.

I never seen someone take a knee and they don’t count it as a knock down. Must of forgot the rules for tonight.

“New assignment has been posted”

It’s really hard raising your parents bc they’re hard headed and they think they’re grown.

Unfortunately, old people were cooking when they came up with waking up early to sit on the porch & drink a beverage. I have never chilled harder

I’ve Realized Parents don’t have a Problem with a lot of things,It’s always about what people will say.

beefing with your significant other is the worst. like bro, you my only friend 😭 stop pissing me off

There’s always a white guy at the bonfire who really fucks with keeping the fire going, I really respect you

Dear Apple if I delete the contact Maybe: you should delete that shit too

do babies smell good because they were marinating in coochie juice for 9 months

Post the funniest celebrity moment you've seen:

One of the most precious things in life is self-discipline🙏

As a former history teacher, I'm going to hold y'all's hands when I say this: The 2nd civil war isn't pending. History books will say it started January 6th, 2021.