Malark 🍉

I kinda fw their policy of uploading anything they find on random USB sticks in the storage room

Stoner guy in 90s sitcom: Like these edible arrangements aren’t working!!!

Doctors coming into the room and seeing trumps iconic suit neatly folded on the bed and the window open but the president is nowhere to be found

New letter I just invented

Weed strain called ‘American Century of Humiliation’

Its good that people from new jersey can't pump their own gas. Otherwise they would try to drink it

Alexa self destruct sequence

it's so satisfying when my 11yo nephew tells me something he's excited about and i just say that's gay

(trying to spell Mr Beast without cheating) Mr Beest

Steven universe OC named Kidney Stone. Is this anything

I knew a kid who would only respond to questions with "up your butt and around the corner" and literally no one cared when he went missing over the summer

naming my son new super mario bros u

white people be like i was on the wordle team in high school

Nothing like a good walk #ILoveWalking

i was late to my own public execution theyre gonna kill me

my wife keeps dying in this alternate universe and it’s pissing me off

please watch this

after decades of research & billions of dollars later, scientists at the hadron supercollider have successfully smashed a hot dog molecule into a lite beer atom & finally discovered the secrets of the ‘uncle particle’.