get borged 🍑

My husband started referring to me as "Wife" around the kids so they wouldn't call me by my first name, so now my 3yo occasionally calls me "Wife"

friends with benefits and the benefit is we are friends

The upper peninsula of Michigan is gorgeous this time of year

nathan fielder esque idea to put progressive candidates in office by spreading the idea that it's gay/feminine to vote

the dead horse is beating me

@lowelogf every misogynist in the comments is also Fucking Stupid bc they can’t tell you are joking and don’t actually have a dead husband and child. that or they are really worried about this kid whom was definitely traumatized oh noooo

pov u r 30+ on discord

Clown playing Strip Poker and he keeps taking off his clothes just to reveal another full outfit

I trapped Charlie Kirk’s soul in a lesser soul gem and am using it to power an air fryer

hey "lmfao" is actually really problematic (has swear word in it) sooooo if you could please say something like "thats so laughy taffy" or "im gigglemode" next time please

i just went on chinese social media and they're busy turning Erling Haaland into a Love and Deepspace male lead

@crystalqueer417 😔 some day we will find oomfs nearby

@malonpeach :( sadness

do i have any midwest oomfs?

Pharrell has always kind of reminded me of Arthur’s homosexual rat teacher

I’m not even kidding you guys, the reflecting pool is my favorite story of the entire year so far. This gift just keeps on GIVING

my friend's letterboxd account pisses me off so much

@crystalqueer417 unforch no i’m in less cool midwesf (cleveland)

@malonpeach OMG WAIT WHERE R U ANYWHERE NEAR ST LOUIS OR CHICAGO???

1 billion on great divide you guys are very disturbed

what was the point of storing it at an angle