mick

Smoking a joint before going to the grocery store and pretending like I’m in Halo

I live in a world of darkness

People are seriously out here calling themselves asexual at 18 like you didn’t even try bruh

Australia’s main export is incredibly attractive but slightly gay looking men. Our second biggest export are the natural gases killing the planet

Imagine if instead of burger with side of fries it was dick with side of balls please imagine that please please

The song I want on my story is so niche it’s not on instagram #SufferingFromSuccess #helloladies

No you didn’t

I’m lowkey a joy to be around bruh

If I don’t get everything I’ve ever desired right this second I’m gonna freak out and ruin dinner

kicking my dads ass because he’s becoming a faggot with age

If I had a son I would kill it no questions asked

I’m seriously about to be sick I can’t believe this is happening

Woke up feeling very strange and then I realised it’s my first morning in a week where I’m sober

ok fine you got me i need you

She makes my palms sweaty and my heart beat a little faster. I don’t know if I could live without her. Her name? Beer

No alcohol in 24 hours I literally feel sick

@mickidiot direct correlation

I’ve been feeling incredibly spiritually fulfilled lately which is probably why none of my tweets have been funny

I’m going cold-turkey on falling in love

I don’t even know a thing or two