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When they sleep on you… tuck em in💯

starting the second half of your sandwich is like hell yeah baby let’s run it back

@bmbshellter @wariocheats Well Georgie for one, and it was also a plot line in the cooking show iirc

@olivechest @wariocheats Who lily rap3d omg

there’s a certain actress in a certain currently airing sitcom that it makes me sad because she used to be really good in acting roles but she’s just so so so not good in the sitcom

sweet potato chips

You need to touch saltwater sometimes not always grass.

when my laserlight vacuum gets a glimpse of the dust under my couch and starts going into turbo mode

@henrybadger19 “Its ants” -literally any character from this book

Ants alone would cause human extinction and im not even kidding

i love you rice with some bullshit

There's 2 birds throwing stones at me

Why did we let the Mormons have such a beautiful state. They deserve Kansas not Utah

Michelin star restaurants love to be like the dish is Foam

it fucks me up mentally that electronics and magnets just got over their beef for the most part like they're chill now. my phone has a magnet on it. my pc case has a magnet on it. unsettling

@mrsdofenshmirtz I bought the stupid Twitter premium to download it 💀 I don’t wanna post it and get banned so msg me and I can dm it

how the fuck do I watched the leaked avatar movie I need it NOW

would you like to add protein to your $21 salad for just $9 more

@sixinchbeys @o11o111o1 As someone who was on a GLP & lost about 30lbs in 3mo, and previously did 75hard and lost 11lbs, you DO look different. I was less weight on the scale after GLP, but looked worse than after 75hard because I wasn’t building muscle where I was losing fat. It was way easier, though

yall are convinced ozempic weight loss is somehow different than natural weight loss and i don’t understand why

Is there an Oscar for plants bc she wins every one for drama

when you watch a movie and some catastrophic failure happens in some system and the computer says like "containment breached" and you're like well how bad could it be if the UX has a specific error state for that flow

It's never ok to put salt around the rim of my drink

The No Kings protest was cute at first but we’re at the 5th one now with no change I need yall to start burning shit